This morning I shared with you my favourite real weddings of 2019, there were some...
Today it’s the welcome return of Louise to the Blog. Last time Louise discussed her thoughts on whether she should DIY her wedding or not, Yes DIY weddings are big at the moment, but it doesn’t mean that DIY is the right choice for everyone! Today Louise talks about her thoughts on marriage and what becoming a Mrs means to her. This is a very interesting topic and something that I feel is SO important to think about before you get married. Your wedding day isn’t all about colour schemes, outfits and details, it’s the first day of the rest of your life together, so thinking about what follows on from the wedding is a vital part of making sure that you have a strong lasting marriage.
Way back before I was engaged, when I was a young’un, I imagined my wedding and naturally my marriage to be a certain way – we’d have the perfect day, everything would go without a hitch and then afterwards as a married woman, I’d stay at home all day, cleaning my immaculate home and looking after my impeccably behaved children and my ever-so-handsome husband would merrily come home, on time, everyday with both a gift and a compliment
Growing up, my thought processes begun to change; did I even want to get married? How important was it to married? I’m an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to validate my existence so what difference does a piece of paper make? Yeah, I was an angry twenty-something.
And then I met Chris. And I’m sure he won’t mind me saying that he’s quite far away from that idyllic Prince Charming I imagined; not that he isn’t ever-so handsome. But he works long hours, sometimes gets in a grump and to be honest, if you get a compliment from him be pleased as punch as he so rarely gives them. So, you know, him asking me to marry him was the biggest compliment ever. And me; I’m not that patient wife-to-be, waiting for him to come home from work, dinner on the table, all-the-while smiling. I too, have my moments. (Hard to believe, I know) But more important than this, we’re a partnership. We support each other when we need it. It hasn’t been easy but we’re there for each other through the good times and the bad and even just the downright mediocre.
And I will admit that even until recently, I still wasn’t convinced that marriage was the be-all and end-all – we had this strong partnership – we know it, our friends and family know it, why change things? I increasingly began to learn that it was very important to Chris so little-by-little my mindset began to change. If nothing else, it meant we’d have a cracking party, eh? But since we’ve become engaged, we’ve spoken more about it and talked about the things that are important to us. I will take his surname and become Mrs Howarth..While initially I was worried that I would be losing a bit of my identity, I’ve to realise that my identity isn’t linked to my surname, I’ll still be me. And yeah, that stay-at-home mum? Should we be lucky enough to have a family, I’ll definitely be carrying on working, I’ve worked in some shape or form since I was 16 and worked hard to achieve what I have done. And Chris supports me in this – why should I change my personality, the way I feel about the world because we’ve joined forces? I’ve thought more and more about what I want from the day and it’s clearer to me now that the things I thought would be important, just aren’t. Yeah, I still want an awesome party but colour schemes aren’t that important to me, I don’t care if all the best men aren’t all wearing the same suit, if I don’t have that fairytale dress or if I spill wine down it because really, I just want the day to be about us, to reflect us, our relationship and our journey to get to this point.
So, what does my marriage mean to me? I suppose it means making the partnership that we have even stronger; giving friends and family who’ve played a part in our relationship a chance to celebrate with us and look to the future and play a part in that too; it means moving onto the next stage; a family, a pet? Who knows? It means not losing the identities we had when we met – surely that’s why we’re together? But most of all, it means having even more fun with the person who I most want to have fun with; I’m pretty excited about becoming Mrs Howarth!