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Happy Friday everyone! I hope you have had a good week so far and are...
I’m delighted to welcome back Kate to the blog today. Last time Kate talked about the interesting topic of her dream wedding Vs her reality wedding, which seemed to resonate with quite a few of you. Wedding expectation are high when you first get engaged but then the reality of what you can and can’t achieve can sink in once the planning process is underway. Today Kate is talking about the Pros and Cons of a DIY Venue and again it is another interesting discussion. I’d love to hear what you have to say on this subject and if you are planning on a DIY venue or have a more traditional venue booked where everything is done for you.
Back in 2002 my best friend got married and I was her bridesmaid (she is now going to be mine!), but for her, there was never really an option to have her wedding anywhere else but a hotel-type venue where you had a choice of a very limited menu, and all you really had to think about was the colour of the sash on the chairs and what favours you put on the table.
She would have loved to have done it ‘differently’ but that was just what you did – no one thought that there was any other way to have a wedding.
How things have changed. And in that respect I am so glad I waited to get married (I’ll be 37 by the time I am wed which I guess is quite old to be a bride, even though I don’t feel it!).
The world really is your oyster now, and many people are choosing alternative places to get married. Think theatres, unused swimming pools, empty warehouses and in the middle of the woods!
Empty pool red chairs: Rock n Roll Bride by James Melia | Swimming pool cover: Mazel Moments | Abandoned Pool: Stone Fox Bride | Bunting over pool: Victoria Baths, Manchester |
There are still the ‘traditional’ venues with their wedding ‘packages’, but for me it was never a consideration – I have an image in my head that I can’t shake off and it includes a dark patterned carpet, huge swathes of curtain fabric (complete with pelmet of course), ceiling tiles and stark lighting that look like an office, and bows on the back of chair covers. It is just not me.
And so started my search for a different venue……………
I wanted somewhere that allowed me to arrange everything. Does that make me a control freak? Or may be I just know what I like, and if there’s ever a day when you can be particular, then it’s your wedding day, right?
I initially wanted a barn wedding, and we found one just outside York which was perfect (Barmbyfield Barn, near Pocklington) – a completely empty space ready for us to put our own stamp on the place.
(Photo by Tux and Tales Photography Full wedding HERE )
However, financially it just wasn’t viable for us, so we then started looking again. In the end we realised that travelling slightly further from home might be the answer, and suddenly my bridesmaid’s family home became the perfect place. There is a beautiful room overlooking the amazing gardens which showcase her parents’ bronze sculptures. And they have hosted a couple of other weddings there so we knew it was doable. And of course, we could arrange everything ourselves with no restrictions – decision made!
(Photo by Greyeye Photography)
Overall then, the pros definitely outweigh the cons for me, but I can completely understand that other people would see it differently. A wedding is about the love of two people, and the ceremony that joins them together in marriage, but hang on, it’s also about the personalities of those two people, and therefore it should represent them in every way – for people who love to create things, style things, and make things look pretty, surely they should be allowed to do this on their wedding day too?
So I throw it out to you – what do you think? A ‘package’ where it’s all ‘taken care of’, or complete control over every minor detail?
My answer is – it’s your wedding, so do it your way, whichever way that may be!
Hi Kate! There’s me in your last picture – wooop! :) Good for you for choosing your DIY venue, I’m biased but obviously think they’re great.
My advice would be DELEGATE. It really doesn’t have to be all on your shoulders. If you don’t want to ask friends/family to handle the day there are people you can ask with wedding experience who will come and manage/coordinate all or part of the day for you – as you say.
Sounds like you’ve chosen just the right place to suit you, can’t wait to hear more about it !
Great post from Kate, we had a lovely wedding arranged totally by us and it was fabulous, would definitely go DIY again!
Kate I was 37 when I got married, it’s no old so don’t worry about it! xx
Really great insights Kate. I really love how more and more brides are trying to find alternative diy wedding venues for the setting to tell their love story. It’s really the perfect environment to showcase like you said the couples personalities without feel restricted.
I’m with you there 100% Kate. I had actual nightmares thinking we would end up in a hotel type venue and did all I could not to let that happen! DIY is so much more personal. And more work for you means it’s all made with extra love :) xx
It sounds like you’ve made a good decision.
We also fell in love with the idea of a truly DIY wedding and we booked Barmbyfield Barn in Pocklington back in March. I am absolutely loving designing my perfect wedding but it is really hard work.
My advice: Don’t leave anything until the last minute. If you want certain tables and chairs, book them now! They get booked up extremely quickly. We’ve had to go for second best which is a little frustrating but hopefully we’ll pull it off!
Firstly if 37 is old there really is no hope for me as I will be 49 when I take the plunge! My daughter married in August and it was the classic fairytale church wedding followed by a beautiful reception at a traditional venue. It was perfect for her but completely cemented that it was not what we wanted for ourselves! So having hosted my sister’s reception in my garden we are now thinking of having our own there too. It is second time around for me but first time for ‘im and he is so laid back and fun loving, stiff and starch really won’t do. We are currently torn between at home or Whitstable’s lovely lobster shack on the beach. One thing is for certain, we will have it how we want, relaxed, bbq or fish and chips and fun! We are not having a best man or bridesmaids and reading your blog has made me think I can involve my nearest and dearest by asking them to help things run smoothly. I am thinking master of drinks, coordinator and I am sure I can think of lots more! Now to work out what an old girl is going to wear!
Good article. I had a DIY wedding so that I could have the look that I wanted & to keep on top of our wedding budget. It was a lot of hard work but well worth it. Exhausting though!
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