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30
Jan
2013
By Boho
Today it’s time for a bit of a discussion on the Blog, we haven’t had one for a while and it’s something that I am looking at bringing back on more of a regular basis. So today I have enlisted the help of the wonderful Dom and Matt from Bride vs Groom. Recently married and working in the wedding industry themselves, Dom and Matt are the ideal people to discuss all things weddings and today we start of discussions with the Budget!
I’d love to know your thoughts on the matter, are you a couple really splurging on your wedding, spending every last penny, or are you a couple looking for a more simple back to basics day. There is no right or wrong anger here, every wedding is diffident and every couple is entitled to spend as much or as little as they wish. What I’d like to know from you is which camp you are in, to spend or not to spend?………….all opinions welcome.
I’ll pass the Blog over to Dom and Matt…………….
When it comes to your wedding there’s no right and wrong way to do things. There’s all kinds of incredible ideas, different venues and contrasting styles you can go for and every bride and groom have their own ideas on what they want for their special day. The problems occasionally come though when the Bride and Groom have differing opinions amongst themselves!
So the lovely Kelly’s kindly invited us to pop over from our own blog for a little Bride Vs Groom debate! And we thought we’d kick things off with a topic that probably causes the most friction between couples in the run up to the big day: The budget! (although looking at my credit card bill I think Dom definitely won this debate the last time around!)
Now just to make the rules clear, this is a traditional debate and we’re going to present the strongest and most extreme arguments we can think of on both sides, whether those arguments represent our own thoughts or not. So for example if I was to say that my bride was more than happy for me to just eat baked beans for the rest of my life if it meant we could afford a few more strings of bunting that would clearly not be my own opinion… honest!
Ideas towards weddings are changing and the grooms are definitely getting more involved in the planning stages. But from the expressions I’ve seen when met with prices for various parts of the wedding it still seems that overall it’s the Brides that are most willing to part with their cash to have the wedding of their dreams. Meanwhile the Grooms tend to take a big gulp and pretend they’ve forgotten their wallets whilst rapidly trying to hide them (if you see a groom wearing a top-hat in the run-up to the wedding you know he’s had to get inventive with where to hide it!) But generally it comes down to this: spend all your savings on your big dream wedding or keep it well within your financial means? Let’s address the arguments, and for the purpose of debate we’ll pit Brides, fighting for the money-no-object wedding, against Grooms protecting their bank balance!
Round 1: The opening remarks:
Bride: I think at some point in her life every girl has daydreamed about their perfect wedding. It’s a once in a lifetime thing and you naturally want it to match up to those dreams. A wedding may be a big expense, but it’s also up there with the birth of your children as the most momentous day of your lives… a day you and your partner will look back on forever. Memories like that are simply priceless.
Groom: Your wedding is unquestionably an immensely important day. It’s one that should be fully celebrated and a certain amount of expense is inevitable. However working to a realistic budget is the best way to ensure that you have the benefit of both a beautiful wedding and a happy beginning to married life rather than spending the first year of your marriage struggling financially. It’s the marriage itself, not the “stuff that makes a wedding!
Round 2: Head to Head
Bride: A wedding is something worth saving up for and splashing out on. It’s the one chance to get everyone you love together and create a unique and memorable day. You only do it once, it’s worth making it special.
Groom: Certain things will help you remember your day in the future: (e.g. the legendary tungsten wedding rings, the photographs/video etc) and others that are essential (actually having a venue and a marriage license for example!) but so much of the other stuff doesn’t really matter so much after the day itself… it’s about deciding what’s most important to you and prioritising that.
Bride: But it is the big stuff that costs the majority of the money, is it worth compromising the most important day of your lives for a few hundred pounds that would have made the whole event even better?
Groom: Some of the weddings that have had the best responses from the guests and have been popular on blogs have been put together on an absolute shoestring budget. Spending lots of money doesn’t necessarily equate to making it more beautiful! Cheaper venues with a little DIY decoration can actually be much more unique and personal to you.
Bride: So many former brides I’ve spoken to have regretted that they didn’t spend more on certain parts of their day. You want your memories of your wedding to be untainted in your mind and cutting corners might be something you’ll regret forever.
Groom: You can cut costs by making things yourselves or getting inventive and turning cheap objects into beautiful decorations… there’s all kinds of things you can do. If you can’t afford something then you just need to think creatively about other ways to achieve the effect you want.
Bride: Putting things together yourself is fantastic and can be incredibly effective, but it’s also extremely time consuming and, if you’re not particularly artistic or crafty, for some people is just impossible. We all live busy lives and we can’t all invest as much time as we’d like to planning our wedding.
Groom: Having gourmet meals, string quartets, elegant decor and the finest detailing may look absolutely beautiful, but is it what your guests really want? For lots of guests the reception is just about chatting over some food, enjoying some funny speeches, drinking wine and boogying on the dance-floor. Most guests just want to have fun, and for a lot of people a hog roast or a fish & chip van is a whole lot more fun than a Michelin star meal!
Round 3: Final Remarks:
Bride: If you’re someone who’s always dreamed of the perfect wedding day then that’s exactly what you should have. Of course there has to be a limit and we’re by no means suggesting you should spend beyond your means, but some things are just more important than money and your wedding day is one of them.
Groom: There’s nothing wrong with aiming for the wedding of your dreams, but sometimes one or two compromises don’t really make a difference to the overall picture. The “honeymoon period” is a special time and you want to be able to really enjoy it. It’s difficult to get your marriage off to a great start when you can’t afford to do the things you’d like to do together. Your wedding is about the two of you expressing your love, that’s what’s really important.
So what are your thoughts? Are you going all out with the budget on your day, or are you cutting as many corners as possible? do yo think it’s a total waste to spend all your savings on one day, or are you happy to blow it all to have the perfect day you have always dreamed of?
Feel free to leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Bride Vs Groom details: www.bridevsgroom.co.uk / FACEBOOK / @BRIDEvGROOM
York Place Studios details: www.yorkplacestudios.co.uk / FACEBOOK / @yorkplacestudio
York Place Films details: www.yorkplacefilms.co.uk / FACEBOOK / @YorkPlaceFilms
Bride Vs Groom is the blog for the baffled Bride and Groom – the story of the trials, tribulations and occasional jubilations of getting married! Bride Vs Groom was created by Pro wedding photographer Dominique Shaw (York Place Studios) and wedding cinematographer Matt Thompson (York Place Films) as a blog to help Brides and Grooms alike and share both sides of the story. From it’s humble beginnings as the diary of a wedding pro bride and an (at the time) gormless groom, BvG has grown into a great resource for pro advice, big wedding debates and (most importantly) light-hearted nonsense! So mosey on over, pour yourself a cup of tea (actually fellas you might need something with a little more punch!) and join in the story of the Bride Vs the Groom.
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I love BvG! Really well thought out discussion- I was a ‘saver’ on my wedding day (well, is having a teeny tiny budget the same as being a ‘saver’?). I loved my wedding day as it was so relaxed and casual. However (and this is a big however) I wish I had done a little bit more. Now, I perpetually live with the idea of when we ‘renew our vows’ which seems to be a sign I wasn’t 100% happy with the first go round.
Mind you, my budget was less than what a lot of people spend on the dress. I almost wish I had ‘waited’ and only had a small registry office ceremony and a party later when I could have afforded a bit more.
So I am taking the middle ground – spend enough so you are happy with the outcome (but don’t go insane and put yourself in crazy debt!). Because doing it again so you get to live the ‘dream’ isn’t any cheaper!
I am a strong believer in couples setting a budget and sticking to it. So if you have loads of cash and you want to spend it on your wedding and you can afford it without going into debt then brilliant go for it. On the other hand if you don’t have any money then saving and cutting corners is fine as well.
Personally when I got married we set a budget and stuck to it. There were things I would have liked to have had and didn’t because they were out of our budget, but we didn’t scrimp. If we were to get married again/renew our vows and we had loads of cash yes I would spend it on the wedding, but only if I could really afford it!
Thanks Jaye :) I have to admit that we did probably over spend on our wedding day but honestly hand on heart I really don’t regret it. I adored our wedding and if we had changed anything I would have missed it! That said, we did budget for what was important to us and saved on parts that weren’t – we didn’t spend thousands on the cake, flowers or decorations! They were very DIY!
Myself and my fiance are mega savers and for our wedding in August we don’t intend to cut back but instead we are using our talents and skills swapping and bartering our way to our wedding. Because of what we both do (Iam a photographer and artist and my other half designs websites) we’ve magaed to skills swap ourselves; a photographer for a portrait, a cake for wedding photography, a dj for a website, the list goes on. Anything we cant swap or barter we’re making. I have a lot of talented creative friends, and thus a lot of skilled help for when I get a bit stuck, so I’m making my own dress, making our rings and jewellery and felted flowers for bouquets and button holes. The only thing we cang get for free is the church!
x
I think ‘splurging’ is so subjective – to me, splurging is spending more than you can really afford.
Personally, our budget isn’t enormous at all. But finding solutions for low prices has been such a fun challenge (mostly – sometimes it’s been a big pain!). I’ve had to push and twist the budget all over the place to pay for items that came in more expensive than planned (*coughweddingdresscough*) but we’re going to come in okay in the end (subject to no disasters in the next twelve weeks!).
I don’t think the boy would ever have let me think about a budget-busting wedding, even if that had been my inclination. He’s a sensible creature. We did set the date to give us time to save up for what we wanted though.
I believe that everyone should have the wedding of their dreams, however the reality is that doesn’t always happen as far as money buying you happiness goes. When planning your wedding, I think that you and your fiancé should figure out what are the most important aspects to the both of you. I still look at my wedding pictures with a huge smile on my face. Everything came out perfect and most of my guests talk about the great music and food I had at my wedding. I think that you shouldn’t make yourself broke over planning your wedding just aim to have a blast and the great memories will follow.
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