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Today it’s time for a bit of a discussion on the Blog, we haven’t had one for a while and it’s something that I am looking at bringing back on more of a regular basis. So today I have enlisted the help of the wonderful Dom and Matt from Bride vs Groom. Recently married and working in the wedding industry themselves, Dom and Matt are the ideal people to discuss all things weddings and today we start of discussions with the Budget!
I’d love to know your thoughts on the matter, are you a couple really splurging on your wedding, spending every last penny, or are you a couple looking for a more simple back to basics day. There is no right or wrong anger here, every wedding is diffident and every couple is entitled to spend as much or as little as they wish. What I’d like to know from you is which camp you are in, to spend or not to spend?………….all opinions welcome.
When it comes to your wedding there’s no right and wrong way to do things. There’s all kinds of incredible ideas, different venues and contrasting styles you can go for and every bride and groom have their own ideas on what they want for their special day. The problems occasionally come though when the Bride and Groom have differing opinions amongst themselves!
So the lovely Kelly’s kindly invited us to pop over from our own blog for a little Bride Vs Groom debate! And we thought we’d kick things off with a topic that probably causes the most friction between couples in the run up to the big day: The budget! (although looking at my credit card bill I think Dom definitely won this debate the last time around!)
Now just to make the rules clear, this is a traditional debate and we’re going to present the strongest and most extreme arguments we can think of on both sides, whether those arguments represent our own thoughts or not. So for example if I was to say that my bride was more than happy for me to just eat baked beans for the rest of my life if it meant we could afford a few more strings of bunting that would clearly not be my own opinion… honest!
Ideas towards weddings are changing and the grooms are definitely getting more involved in the planning stages. But from the expressions I’ve seen when met with prices for various parts of the wedding it still seems that overall it’s the Brides that are most willing to part with their cash to have the wedding of their dreams. Meanwhile the Grooms tend to take a big gulp and pretend they’ve forgotten their wallets whilst rapidly trying to hide them (if you see a groom wearing a top-hat in the run-up to the wedding you know he’s had to get inventive with where to hide it!) But generally it comes down to this: spend all your savings on your big dream wedding or keep it well within your financial means? Let’s address the arguments, and for the purpose of debate we’ll pit Brides, fighting for the money-no-object wedding, against Grooms protecting their bank balance!
Bride: I think at some point in her life every girl has daydreamed about their perfect wedding. It’s a once in a lifetime thing and you naturally want it to match up to those dreams. A wedding may be a big expense, but it’s also up there with the birth of your children as the most momentous day of your lives… a day you and your partner will look back on forever. Memories like that are simply priceless.
Groom: Your wedding is unquestionably an immensely important day. It’s one that should be fully celebrated and a certain amount of expense is inevitable. However working to a realistic budget is the best way to ensure that you have the benefit of both a beautiful wedding and a happy beginning to married life rather than spending the first year of your marriage struggling financially. It’s the marriage itself, not the “stuff that makes a wedding!
Bride: A wedding is something worth saving up for and splashing out on. It’s the one chance to get everyone you love together and create a unique and memorable day. You only do it once, it’s worth making it special.
Groom: Certain things will help you remember your day in the future: (e.g. the rings, the photographs/video etc) and others that are essential (actually having a venue and a marriage license for example!) but so much of the other stuff doesn’t really matter so much after the day itself… it’s about deciding what’s most important to you and prioritising that.
Bride: But it is the big stuff that costs the majority of the money, is it worth compromising the most important day of your lives for a few hundred pounds that would have made the whole event even better?
Groom: Some of the weddings that have had the best responses from the guests and have been popular on blogs have been put together on an absolute shoestring budget. Spending lots of money doesn’t necessarily equate to making it more beautiful! Cheaper venues with a little DIY decoration can actually be much more unique and personal to you.
Bride: So many former brides I’ve spoken to have regretted that they didn’t spend more on certain parts of their day. You want your memories of your wedding to be untainted in your mind and cutting corners might be something you’ll regret forever.
Groom: You can cut costs by making things yourselves or getting inventive and turning cheap objects into beautiful decorations… there’s all kinds of things you can do. If you can’t afford something then you just need to think creatively about other ways to achieve the effect you want.
Bride: Putting things together yourself is fantastic and can be incredibly effective, but it’s also extremely time consuming and, if you’re not particularly artistic or crafty, for some people is just impossible. We all live busy lives and we can’t all invest as much time as we’d like to planning our wedding.
Groom: Having gourmet meals, string quartets, elegant decor and the finest detailing may look absolutely beautiful, but is it what your guests really want? For lots of guests the reception is just about chatting over some food, enjoying some funny speeches, drinking wine and boogying on the dance-floor. Most guests just want to have fun, and for a lot of people a hog roast or a fish & chip van is a whole lot more fun than a Michelin star meal!
Bride: If you’re someone who’s always dreamed of the perfect wedding day then that’s exactly what you should have. Of course there has to be a limit and we’re by no means suggesting you should spend beyond your means, but some things are just more important than money and your wedding day is one of them.
Groom: There’s nothing wrong with aiming for the wedding of your dreams, but sometimes one or two compromises don’t really make a difference to the overall picture. The “honeymoon period” is a special time and you want to be able to really enjoy it. It’s difficult to get your marriage off to a great start when you can’t afford to do the things you’d like to do together. Your wedding is about the two of you expressing your love, that’s what’s really important.
So what are your thoughts? Are you going all out with the budget on your day, or are you cutting as many corners as possible? do yo think it’s a total waste to spend all your savings on one day, or are you happy to blow it all to have the perfect day you have always dreamed of?
Feel free to leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.