Featured Post
6 Colour Combination Ideas for a Stylish Boho Wedding
So you’ve decided to have a boho wedding, fantastic news! You have come to the...
27
Nov
2013
By Boho
Today I’m throwing the Blog open to you again as we discuss, ‘getting the man involved’
The wedding industry is still focused very heavily on the bride, with little emphasis on the groom and his views on the wedding, the more traditional wedding fairs have been known to alienate the groom, while magazines are still mainly focused at the bride.
However as a planner and a blogger I am seeing a definite shift in the groom’s role. More and more men want to get involved with the wedding plans and have a say on how their day will pan out. Over the last couple of years when I have been planning weddings it has become much more common to meet up with both bride and the groom, whereas when I started it was mainly the bride, I often didn’t meet the groom till the actual day of the wedding.
As a blogger I am seeing more and more men fill out the bridal repost for the real weddings I feature which is refreshing and also quite reassuring that the groom had taken an interest in the big day.
(Photo by Carly Bevan Full wedding HERE)
Personally when I got married I pretty much planned the whole thing, Nik had little or no interest, until the last month when the financial side took over, then he became interested!/involved. But it would have been nice to have his impute on more than the menu and the location!
It used to be that the groom sorted out the suit, rings and cars, while the bride saw to everything else, often spending more time with the mother and mother in law than her actual husband! But is this still the case?
I often find that the weddings that have had the man involved are the ones with more personality, it is where the couple have thought about the choices together and created a wedding that is truly unique to them.
However I know that there are still lost of brides out there making all the decisions on their own, with no impute from their partner at all!
So today I want to get some feedback from you and really find out what is going on out there
(Photo by Christina Heaston Photography Full wedding HERE)
So a couple of questions
1) Are you planning your wedding on your own with little or no impute from your fiancé? Or are you doing it as a couple, with both of you making equal decisions?
2) Do you have any advice for brides struggling to get the groom involved? Any tips on getting him interested, jobs that the groom may want to do and happy to take responsibility of?
Today I really need your help with this, and I’d love to get a better idea just how many couples are planning their wedding together and how many brides have been left on their own.
Over to you………….
Share this post
I wanted my other half’s input (because I didnt want to feel like / seem like a controlling bridezilla!) but it was difficult on most things – he just wasn’t interested in whether we had a wedding singer/ lanterns in the church/loads of candles everywhere, as he considers these to be girlie things.
What I found easiest was on the things I would like his input on and things I though he should speak up about (i.e his button hole/ song choices/ church formalities such as paperwork, readings etc ), I narrowed my favourites down to three (or more) choices and then we made the final decision together. I doubt he would even realise if I ended up going with something else, so be perfectly honest. However, if I went to him with 10 choices of each, he’d have a melt down.
We chose the car, and suits together too as he is all but (undiagnosed) colour blind and wanted my opinion on the colour he bought for groomsmen and himself. I didnt particulary want to be involved in this but he wanted me to be.The thing is,thankfully, we have very similar tastes so nothing has been too difficult.
A lot of the major decisions we made together, and in a hurry, as our wedding is abroad and we only had one chance to view a lot of things and meet suppliers.
He’s said frequently in the past ” I’ll leave it to you, you know best” and i think it’s actually worked out quite well…
…That is until the dreaded table plan. Suddenly he wants to know and get involved, which is fine, if we can agree on something – our wedding is NYE, so we need to get on with it!
I’m definitely getting Chris involved, I do much of the researching of ideas because generally I have more time and to be honest, more inclination to do it but before making any decisions, we’re talking to one another and having a say about why we like what we like and what’s important to us about the day – we’re actually quite lucky in that our ideas and thoughts are very similar but the thinking up of the ideas tends to come easier to me…mainly because I spent a lot of my time looking at blogs!
I’d say my other half could nearly be considered a groomzilla! He is very involved in all aspects which is good as I have a very busy job and couldn’t contemplate doing all of it on my own. He’s also a chef so the food aspect of things is probably most important on his list. It’s lovely being able to do it together and really it is “our” day not mine so I think I’d not be impressed if he just left me to get on with it.
I think if the focus is on how to make it a fun day and add things in that are personal that definitely makes it more interesting to a man. If you want to spend hours talking about flowers you can kind of understand why he would shy away from it all…
Hi Kelly,
Interesting topic. I must say like you, i have discovered that more and more grooms are getting involved in the wedding planning. At least they want a say when it comes to the stationery side of things. I’d say around half of our enquires are from grooms to be! : )
I guess the fact Nick and I did our Diary of A Boho Bride together says it all really! I love the fact that planning our day was a joint venture. It was an amazing feeling on the day knowing that WE had pulled it off (with lots of help from family and friends). The way I see it is that the wedding day was all about Nick and I starting our life together as a team, a unit; the planning process and the wedding was just the beginning of what we can do when we work together. Xx
Due to an email issue if you have emailed me between the 2nd & 9th of December, please resend it.
Have you tried our fabulous wedding directory?
discover more