Ask The Experts: How to Plan a Wedding When You and Your Partner Have Completely Different Tastes

You’ve said yes, shared the news, and you and your partner are buzzing to start planning. Then you sit down to talk about the day and realise you’re picturing two different weddings. Maybe you’ve dreamt of pampas grass and a sun-drenched meadow, while your other half has their heart set on sleek black-tie glamour in a city venue. Different tastes make a relationship interesting, but when you’re trying to settle on an aesthetic for your big day, they can turn mood board sessions into a tug-of-war.

Luckily, clashing styles don’t have to mean one of you gives in or ends up with something they don’t love. With creative thinking, you can blend both personalities into a celebration that’s true to you as a couple. Here’s how to bring your visions together, minus the stress.

How to Plan a Wedding When You and Your Partner Have Completely Different Tastes

photo by Brogen Jessup – full wedding here

Start with a brainstorming session

It’s tempting to start throwing ideas at each other as soon as planning begins, but some structure early on can save you back-and-forth later. Set aside an evening to sit down together (perhaps with a bottle of wine and a notebook!) and talk through what you each love.

Mary Angelini, Wedding Videographer at Key Moment Films, outlines, “Separate and assign portions of the design separately during the brainstorming phase. Once you both have time to collect inspiration, come back to the table and share your findings. Find common elements that once felt distant, consider them, and decide how you can fit them into the wedding decor. Contrasting aesthetic tastes are an opportunity to blend personalities, not a hindrance. When you both can contribute to the design, the wedding will truly reflect both of you.”

Once you’ve had your say, you’ll probably find there’s more overlap than you expected. Start with your shared priorities, then look at how your individual favourites can fit around them. It’s easier to create a cohesive wedding from a list of what matters than from a pile of randomly saved images.

photo by Hipster Wedding Asia – full wedding here

Then take a walk around your venue

If you’ve booked your venue, go back together and wander. Spaces can look different in person than they do in photos, and seeing the room you’ll celebrate in can settle debates that seemed impossible on paper.

“Walk the venue together and talk through how it will actually feel in photos and in person, not just how it looks on a mood board,” confirms Julian Ribinik, Creative Director at Julian Ribinik Studios. “Tastes clash far less in person than they do side by side on a screen.”

Pay attention to what the venue brings to the table, from the architecture and lighting to the views and flow between spaces. Instead of fighting its character, let it serve as a neutral middle ground between your two styles.

photo by Sheena T Photography – full wedding here

Know that different parts of the day can incorporate different ideas

A secret that takes a lot of the stress away: your celebration doesn’t have to stick to one theme. A wedding day has lots of different moments and spaces, and each one is a chance to showcase something you love.

Julia Garcia-Prat, Owner & Lead Photographer at Julia Garcia-Prat, explains, “Instead of trying to incorporate every color, reference, or aesthetic into one cohesive design, think about the progression of the day. One partner’s taste might influence the ceremony or dinner, while something completely different can emerge for the party, the cake cutting, or even the welcome event. Giving each idea its own space can feel much more intentional than trying to find a compromise that ultimately represents neither person particularly well.”

When done thoughtfully, these shifts give your day a sense of journey, rather than looking like two weddings stitched together.

Heidi Moore, Creative & Stationer at idieh design, echoes, “Maybe the ceremony feels classic and elegant, while the reception shifts into something darker and moodier. The two aesthetics don’t have to compete. In fact, letting the design shift can create moments of surprise for guests as they move through the day. It also gives each person’s taste a chance to have its moment while still creating one cohesive overall experience.”

Even within one space, both of you can shine. Once you stop treating your wedding as one fixed theme and start seeing it as a collection of spaces and moments, you’ll feel less pressure to agree on everything.

photo by Hipster Wedding Asia – full wedding here

Mesh your ideas into one palette

Colour is a fantastic way to pull two styles together. Start by each picking a couple of shades you’re drawn to, then lay them side by side and see what works. You might be surprised at how naturally your favourites complement each other once they’re in the same place.

“Another thing is to agree on a color palette,” emphasizes Hattie Kearney, Wedding Planner at Peach Perfect Weddings. “More often than not, incorporating different elements within the same color palette can still make everything look visually appealing and cohesive.”

After you’ve chosen a palette, let it run through everything from your florals and stationery to the table linens and bridesmaid dresses. A consistent set of colours acts like a thread running through the day, so even if the ceremony has a different feel to the reception, everything still looks like it belongs together.

photo by Lucy Davis – full shoot here

Lean on the experts

Talked it through and still feel stuck? Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Your wedding planner, venue coordinator, florist, and stylist have worked with countless couples with different tastes, and they’re brilliant at finding creative solutions you might not have considered.

Ashley Newkirk, Owner of Ash Events, shares, “If you’re working with a wedding planner or designer, they can help find ways to blend two completely different styles while also considering the venue, layout, and overall feel of the day. Sometimes an outside perspective can show you how two ideas that seem completely different can actually work really well together.”

A good professional will listen to both voices, help you find the common ground, and translate your ideas into something cohesive. They can also give you a realistic picture of what will work in your space and within your budget, saving you a lot of back-and-forth (and the odd disagreement!).

photo by Anne Troxel Photography – full shoot here

Remember: it’s about the feel, not the look

When it comes down to it, your guests will remember how the day felt: the joy in the room and the sense that the celebration was completely you. Focusing on the atmosphere you want to create can help you both let go of the smaller details.

“I also think couples should remember that guests rarely leave discussing whether the linens were modern or the flowers were romantic,” reminds Amos Gott, Chief Event Architect at AmosEvents. “They leave talking about how the wedding felt. The atmosphere, the connection, the laughter, the energy of the room. Great design absolutely matters, but its highest purpose is supporting an unforgettable experience.”

So, when you’re struggling to agree on something, ask each other how you want people to feel in that moment rather than what it should look like. You might discover you’re aiming for the same thing, just picturing different ways to get there.

photo by Jaymi Joy Photo – full wedding here

A wedding shaped by two points of view tends to have more depth, more personality, and a few unexpected pairings that guests won’t have seen before. Take your time and don’t be afraid to try combinations that sound unusual at first. Somewhere between your favourite things and theirs is a celebration neither of you could have designed alone, and it’s well worth the effort of finding it!

This is a collaborative post with Meghan Ely who is the owner of wedding PR and marketing firm OFD Consulting and the founder of OFD Collective, a membership community for wedding pros looking to elevate their visibility. She’s a sought-after speaker and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.