This afternoon we are back with our regular feature ‘Advice from the Married Side,‘ real life wedding planning...
Good afternoon everyone. Today we have something a little different for you, as we welcome writer Roxana to the blog. Here at Boho, as you know, we are all about weddings. However there is so much more to a marriage than just the wedding, the wedding is only the beginning of your journey together as a couple. Today Roxana will be talking to us all about keeping the Newlywed Spirit alive, how not to get stuck in a rut and how to keep that ‘just married’ feeling going way into your married life. I’ll pass you over to her…
The exhilaration of falling in love can only be outshone by the profound devotion of tying the proverbial knot with your loved one. We all yearn for the feeling of fluttering butterflies from the first exchanged glances and kisses, but even more so for that deep sense of belonging that comes as we take the first steps into a married life.
So, how does a couple even begin to preserve, let alone amplify and grow, that rapturous newlywed spirit to last throughout the years ahead? The answers are surprisingly simple, but it all begins with the awareness and willingness to explore, adapt and take risks because the most passionate and blissful moments usually take place outside of your comfort zone.
Much like with other long-lasting, but valuable life experiences, we tend to start taking them for granted, without even realizing our own lack of appreciation. Instead of waiting for a negative wake-up call to become aware of your humdrum attitude, enrich your newly-formed union by continuously nurturing a grateful outlook on your shared existence.
Thanking your partner for the little things, from doing the laundry to saving you the last piece of chocolate, even if it’s not in verbal form, will do wonders for your emotional bond. You can express gratitude with a gentle gaze as much as with a bouquet of flowers. So, try not to dwell on material gifts, but encourage an internal sense of feeling grateful for all the precious moments you share, including the bad ones.
You might be scared by misguided claims that marriage means the death of romance and passion. Truth be told, any relationship can suffer from decreasing sexual desire, and marriage is no exception. However, saying “I do” is not to be blamed, and couples who are playful, creative and constantly eager to explore know that the intensity of their attraction will not begin to wane.
Be daring, curious and versatile, nurture your sexual enticement, and remember that lovemaking is not an aspect of your relationship that goes without saying. Your sexual spark can thrive even after your honeymoon is over only when both of you go above and beyond to please each other, discover new ways to satisfy each other and tickle each other’s imagination. Sex is not only about the act itself, it’s the anticipation and constant seduction that will make your fire last beyond the honeymoon.
Chances are that you’ve already had your fair share of rough patches and that you know how to support your better half. But the sheer excitement of getting married can sometimes blur your vision in situations of conflict. In these situations, it is essential for both of you to stay attuned to your partner’s needs and keep in mind your mutual interests. When you argue, steer clear of that “you against me” mindset, because disagreements should not be based on disrespect. When both of you feel supported, the “just married” feeling will only grow stronger.
Either when battling a common enemy, such as financial instability, or having a problem with each other, your communication should reflect a healing attitude, and always be directed towards a mutually beneficial resolution. Even with setbacks, life tragedies, and simple misunderstandings, remember that you are a team and that having each other’s back is a priority in any crisis.
While finding ways to surprise your loved one and sharing every possible passion with them comes naturally to eager lovebirds who just started dating, somehow the “getting hitched” label leaves couples wondering how to spice up their everyday life, especially if they have just started living together. And years of dating and coexistence should be no excuse to stop making everything fun, either!
Laughter, curiosity, excitement and experiments are the pillars of a joy-filled life. You can turn your morning routine into an always new, unpredictable performance only if you use your imagination and improvise. Kisses and hugs do not require justifications, and it’s never too late to learn a new dance or a new language or find a new mattress to enjoy “privacy time.” Constantly discover new things about each other, travel, learn new skills, share your favorite hobbies, encourage healthy debates, and use every moment to be kind and intimate. As long as you make each other laugh, life will be a perpetual rollercoaster of butterfly thrills.
Sometimes the simplest of deeds require the willpower and effort, and yet we tend to expect them to happen spontaneously. Cherish your newlywed spirit by embracing your imperfections, allowing room for mistakes, and always have faith in little steps that can turn your marriage into a lifetime of butterfly flutters and profound devotion.
Roxana is a lifestyle consultant from Sydney. She is also one of the editors at . Roxana recently moved to Europe, loves to travel and write about her adventures. She is all about the healthy lifestyle, loves to run with her husband and dogs and has fun cooking exotic meals for her family. Her mantra is “every day is a new beginning”. You can find out more about her writing following her on and .