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I wasn’t too sure whether I should post todays discussion or not, After all my job as a blogger is to talk about details and to showcase the best weddings with the best decoction, designs, and all over fabulousness………..But after a family wedding and meeting with a couple of my future brides, I found myself asking the question are the details as important as we keep banging on about?
Now don’t get me wrong I love a bit of detail, God I’d be in the wrong job if I didn’t but over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking hard about what a wedding is and what is important.
My thoughts on this started when I went to my sister in laws wedding a couple of weeks ago. I had helped her with the basic planning, found her the venue, marquee, caterers, Photographer and DJ, but I wanted to leave the rest to her and her fiancé, after all it was their wedding and I had been invited as a guest, something I haven’t experienced for quite a while! To be completely honest with you I wasn’t sure how it would turn out, as she didn’t seem bothered about things that I thought were the be all and end all, how would she display the guest book, where would the presents and cards go, and what about decoration? She had opted for a very minimalistic look after seeing this wedding on my blog a few months ago.
( photo by S6 Photography Full wedding HERE)
The morning of the wedding I cannot tell you how nervous I was, I didn’t stop crying from the moment I woke up till the midnight when the wedding finished, I was so over run with emotion, and so happy for her that she had at last got to marry the man she had been waiting to marry for 10 years that I then realised THAT was what was important, them getting married! Everyone at that wedding was happy for them and had come to celebrate the fact and enjoy their day! And really that was the important factor and really what a wedding is about.
(photo by Nicola Thompson Photography more images HERE)
Yes the details are an added bonus, but how important are they?
My second thoughts on this came when talking with one of my brides a couple of days after the wedding. She wanted to talk about where she and got to with her wedding in August and ask my advice on the final bits and bobs. It turned out she was worried that she hadn’t filled her venue with a tone of decoration, and was worried about favours and what would suit her theme. After a while of talking about it, we came to the same conclusion, no one was going to notice the favours and the venue was so beautiful filling it with a load of decoration would be a waste of item and money. She spoke about her expectations and her worry of what her guests would think if it wasn’t dripping in details, I then drew back to my sister on laws wedding and reminded her that people where there to see her and her fiancé get married, and THAT was the most important thing to focus on………….
(Photo from Hassop Hall )
But was I right saying this?
As a blogger it is my job to deliver you with inspirational wedding ideas, advice and keep you up to date with the latest trends. So yes I do love the detailed weddings I feature, BUT I am also aware that there is a HUGE pressure on brides these days to make their wedding individual.
Someone told me a few days ago about a bride who was the first one of her friends to get married and how she felt she and the hardest job, as she had to set the bar for the other brides, like it was some kind of competition! This took me back to the times in my 20s when my friends all started to get married. Each wedding I went to I’d gather the bits I liked and disliked and kept them in a mental box for the time I got married! As it turned out I got married way later than I thought I would and didn’t use any of these ideas! BUT it did make me realise the pressure some couples feel themselves under to make their day different, quirky, personal and to stand out from the crowd!
So as blogger am I guilty of adding to this pressure?
As a wedding planner when I meet with my couple’s for the first time, I do find I have the same conversation with them. I tell them what to expect over the next few months, after all most people when planning a wedding really don’t know what to expect. I tell them to remember why they are getting married (something that admittedly I lost sight of when I was getting married myself) advice like:
• Don’t let the wedding consume you
• Do the planning in bite size chunks
• Don’t do it every day,
• Leave time for each other
• Have days when you don’t talk about the wedding at all
And I truly believe all these points to be important factors when planning a wedding.
(phoyto by Andrew Billington Full wedding HERE)
As a Blogger I feel it is important to inspire people, as I always say ‘create the wedding you want, not the one you’re told to have’ But as a planner it is my job to actually create that perfect wedding for them, BUT I also feel it is partly my job to prepare them for the what is ahead, after all When the cake has been cut and the presents open, what is left? Just the two of you? a marriage!
So I guess my question is how important are the details?
At the time of the wedding they may seem like the most import thing in the world! But will your guests remember the 50 jam jars you decorated with 5 different shades of ribbon (Ok I admit I may have got a little carried away with the decorations for my recent birthday party) or will they remember the look on your husband’s face as he sees you walking down the aisle for the first time? Will they keep the jam jar wedding favours you spent weeks making, or will they keep the memories of a truly amazing wedding when their close friend or family member tied the knot?
(Photo by Jess Petrie)
I guess it’s all a matter of keeping things in perspective. As I try to tell all my brides I work with, never loose site of why you are having a wedding, because at the end of the day it’s the marriage that counts!
I’d love to hear what you think? Are you having a detail heavy wedding? Or are you not bothered about the details at all? How important do you think the smaller elements are to a wedding, is it all about creating a wedding that is personal to you? or are you all about the party and the celebration?………..join in the discussion and have your say!
Big Boho Love