Advice From the Married Side – Real Brides Advice From Their Wedding Day

This afternoon it’s time again to dish out a healthy dose of wedding planning advice in our monthly ‘Advice from the Married Side’ feature. I have so many amazing real weddings on the blog and for each one I feature I ask the couple a number of questions, one of these questions being advice for other couples. Sometimes the answers get lost amongst the pretty pictures, so each month I bring you a selection of these brides (and grooms) words of wisdom! I hope there will be something amongst these experiences that help you while planning your own wedding……….Happy Planning!

(Photo by A Tall Long Legged Bird)

Planning

• There’s no point in getting stressed out about it, if you plan well and give yourself plenty of time it will all run smoothly.
• Try not to get bogged down in the tiny little details, the day itself goes so quickly you won’t notice/care about them when the time comes!
• Take your time in the early days and enjoy spending lots of time looking through wedding blogs and websites, pin lots of ideas on a wedding mood board.
• Because we were so last minute, we would like to recommend all the brides to be to plan everything a bit in advance as it can be quite stressful for the last couple of days.
• Give yourself enough time to plan in a relaxed way, to have options if one idea doesn’t work.

(Photo by Sarah Wayte Photography)

On The day

• Have a list of numbers for all suppliers/contacts and give it to one of the ushers in case something comes up.
• Take moments to stop and take in the day – so many people said to us it would become one big blur, but we really felt we enjoyed every minute and have lots of good moments and memories from just thinking wow how brilliant is this day every now and again!
• On the wedding day itself we would advise new couples to take some time to enjoy the moment together and absorb the day as it really does go by fast.
• Enjoy being the absolute princess of the day… enjoy spending time in your dress, spending time with your guests and really FEEL the moment because it goes by so very quickly!
• Please find a moment to spend with your new husband/wife… we had a pic by the village Christmas tree and whilst we walked back the sound of our family and friends enjoying the disco and hog roast was filling the barn – it was nice to stop, be outside looking in together just for a moment.

(Photo by Helen Lisk Photography)

Making the Day Personal to You

• Don’t feel like you have to stick to all the wedding traditions, just do what will make you feel happy.
• Do exactly what you want to do – It’s your day.
• Relax. Think of all the things you love and incorporate those into your day – it’s your day.
• Search the internet for different ideas and see how you can make them unique to you. I would spend hours looking at pictures on the internet and googling weddings.
• Work together as a team, and do what is right for you as a couple! It’s your wedding and it’s all about you!
• Planning a wedding is not stressful, what can be stressful is the family dynamics and considerations – the ‘human’ aspect. The fact is, everyone will have an opinion and they will let you know! So take everything with a pinch of salt but make the concessions where you feel necessary to smooth the path. Essentially its about you and your future husband.
• To keep it simple and to remember its your day so have it how you both want it!

(Photo by Stacy Paul Photography)

DIY Weddings

• We would advise any couple planning a DIY wedding to give yourself plenty of time but not worry yourself with the little details. The occasion takes over and being surrounded by friends and family makes the little things seem insignificant.
• If you’re doing things yourself, practise them, have run-throughs at home, go to courses, whatever you can to put yourselves at ease and know you couldn’t have done better.
• Don’t be afraid to try making something you’ve never done, if you have enough time to practice and perfect! Have back up plans if you’re really worried, but at the end of the day, don’t panic, it’s NOT the end of the world! Have Fun!

(Photo by Oxi Photography)

Getting Organised

• Ask for help! I did everything myself as I wanted to keep the special touches secret but then I ended up running around in the run up and even being at the venue late the night before finishing off by myself instead of meeting up with all the rest of my family in the pub!
• Our advice would be to delegate! People will want to be involved and help you with the planning so if you can give them jobs to do or areas of responsibility, it relieves some pressure.
• Get as many people as possible to do things! It makes them feel involved and is less for you to do!
• Another bit of very specific advice is check the legalities of what you’ve got planned, if it’s out of the ordinary. We knew of course you couldn’t get married outdoors legally but unbeknown to us apparently you are not legally allowed to have a ‘blessing’ before the legal marriage. We received an email from the registrar just 2 days before the wedding saying what we had planned  could not happen by law. This was eventually resolved but to avoid the stress I’d recommend you do the legal ceremony in a registry office before and not try to do it after any blessing ceremony if you’re planning something similar.
• Our advise would for anyone else would be to not get carried away with unnecessary things.

(Photo by Lucabella Photography)

General Advice

• Budget wisely. There were lots more things I would have loved to do but I had to keep my ‘realistic’ head on and remember it was only one day after all so to not be too extravagant in areas we could compromise or do ourselves
• Don’t scrimp on your photography budget. The photos are lasting memories of the day and a good photographer will capture the important moments and make you look fabulous!
• Be open to alternative suggestions if something isn’t going to work. It may work out better.
• Enjoy it. Don’t sweat the small stuff. You have invited all the people there you love. They have come to celebrate with you and enjoy it; they have not come to query your choice of napkins/flowers/table linens/music/shoes/jewellery/readings/cufflinks/the shape of the confetti pieces.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff
• Make sure to take good care of yourselves the weeks before the wedding when stress levels are high.
• Definitely have a photographer and find a good one. The day is a blur and after the roller coaster ride is over all you have are the pictures…well and a ring..and a loving husband but it gives me so much pleasure looking through our wedding album and seeing how it all came together and everyone having such a good time.

(Photo by Neil Jackson Photographic)

I hope you found these pieces of advice helpful. If you are already married is there anything you would like to add ? Was there anything in these words of wisdom that has resonated with you?

Is there something you would particularly like to ask me  for advice? any questions just email me [email protected]