Ask The Experts: Creative Ways to Honor Passed Family Members at Your Wedding

Weddings are filled with joy, anticipation, and celebration, but they can also bring moments of reflection. For many couples, especially those who’ve lost a loved one, the wedding day can feel bittersweet. As excited as you are, it’s completely natural to wish certain people were there to share it with you.

Honouring passed family members (and even close friends) at your wedding isn’t about shifting the focus or adding heaviness to the day. It’s about acknowledging the love they’ve given you and carrying a piece of them forward as you begin this next chapter. From subtle nods to more visible tributes, there are ways to pay respect that still feel intentional and true to who you are as a couple.

Here are some heartfelt ideas to honour the people you miss, while keeping your wedding day centred on you, your partner, and the future you’re building together.

Creative Ways to Honor Passed Family Members at Your Wedding

photo by William Avery Photography – full wedding here 

Weave them into your music

Music has a way of bringing memories to the surface, often without saying a word. Including a song that reminds you of a loved one can be an incredibly meaningful tribute.

McKenzi Taylor, Founder/Owner of Gather After, suggests, “Play a song from their favorite band and make sure the DJ or band leader knows to place it in the setlist at a time when the dancefloor will be poppin’. It’s not necessary to dedicate it to them; if you want to be subtle with your tribute, just slip it into the playlist.”

Sometimes, the most special moments are the ones only you (and maybe a few close family members) fully understand. When you hear that song, you’ll feel the connection, and that’s what matters most.

Leave an open seat

Leaving an open seat at your ceremony is a simple yet powerful gesture. It can symbolise the presence of someone who can’t physically be there but is still very much part of your story.

“Leaving a dedicated seat with a photo or sentimental object acknowledges their role in the couple’s story,” notes Sara Landon, Owner & Principal Planner at Sara Landon Events. “Couples can place a single stem flower on the chair as they walk down the aisle, invite siblings or children to contribute flowers throughout the processional, or drape a small item — like a scarf, boutonnière, or handwritten note — over the seat. It becomes both a quiet tribute and a grounding reminder of the love that shaped the family.”

If a front-row seat feels too prominent, you can adapt this idea by placing a chair off to the side or using it during a private moment before guests arrive. It’s about acknowledging absence with intention rather than creating a moment that feels uncomfortable or overly formal.

Photo by Justine Missen Photography – full wedding here

Create a signature drink

A signature drink is a lovely way to honour someone while keeping the mood celebratory. And adding a short line to your bar menu explaining the inspiration makes it feel even more personal.

Natasha Cardinal, Photographer at The Cardinals, says, “Create a signature drink based on their favorite cocktail, morning coffee order, or homemade recipe, then name it after a memory, not their name. Think: ‘The Sunday Drive’ for your dad who loved road trips, or ‘The Kitchen Laugh’ for a grandma who always stirred the pot while stirring up mischief.”

A tribute like this blends seamlessly into the day, giving guests a way to participate without it feeling solemn. It’s a small toast and a reminder that memories can live on through joy.

Incorporate heirlooms

Heirlooms carry stories, history, and a deep sense of connection. Plus, these pieces often bring comfort as well as sentiment.

“We also love when couples incorporate heirlooms like pinning a locket to their bouquet,” shares Ariana Straznicky-Packer, Founder of Ariana Strings. “These quiet touches allow couples to carry their loved one with them throughout the day.”

What’s special about heirlooms is that they don’t need explanation. They can be tucked into your outfit or intimately woven into your day. You’ll know it’s there, and sometimes that’s enough.

photo by Ivy Bencheck Portraits.– full wedding here

Display photos

Creating a small photo display is a classic way to recognize loved ones who’ve passed. This could be a memory table, a framed photo tucked among your décor, or even a few images placed somewhere meaningful to you.

Kelley Nudo, Client Relations & Operations Director at Momental Designs, recommends, “Set up a framed photo area of the loved ones who have passed at the reception with some candles; this is a heartfelt way for the couple to honor their memory.”

Try to choose photos that reflect their personality. The goal is to celebrate who they were and focus on the happy times.

Touch base with your loved ones

Before the wedding day arrives, it can help to talk with close family members about how you plan to honour those who’ve passed. This opens the door for shared ideas and understanding, especially if emotions may run high.

“If a family member passes very close to the date, please be mindful of asking the closest relatives how they would feel about a display or small note in the program recognizing the individual,” confirms Irene Katzias, Wedding Planner at Irene + Co Events. “Sometimes it can cause more heartache than respect, as intended, so giving people an opportunity to speak their mind will benefit you as a couple navigating an emotionally charged topic.”

These conversations can also help avoid surprises and ensure everyone feels respected. Often, loved ones will be touched by the thought you’ve put into these tributes, and it can bring a sense of unity going into the day.

Photo by Sky Photography. –  full wedding here

Keep things short and sweet

When it comes to spoken acknowledgements, less is often more. A brief mention during a speech or ceremony can be incredibly meaningful without shifting the emotional tone of the day.

Craig Peterman, Photographer at Craig Peterman Photography, emphasizes, “Do keep tributes simple and short during the ceremony so it’s more about your marriage while still acknowledging who’s missing. Don’t spring a big emotional moment on an already-grieving family without warning, and don’t turn the reception into a memorial service. Think of this as a gentle nod to the past, not the main storyline.”

That same sentiment carries through in the idea that remembrance can be thoughtfully woven into the day without taking centre stage.

Emily Reno, Owner of Elopement Las Vegas, adds, “I always encourage couples to focus on subtle and intentional touches that feel comforting rather than overwhelming. The wedding day is still about the couple, so it is important to strike a gentle balance and make sure the remembrances do not overshadow the celebration itself.”

Keeping it short allows the moment to feel sincere. It honours the memory, then gently returns the focus to the celebration, which is exactly what many couples (and families) find most comforting.

Make sure your photographer is aware

If you’ve included meaningful details or tributes, let your photographer know ahead of time. They can quietly capture these moments without interrupting the flow of the day.

“The biggest do’s would be to loop in your partner and your photographer,” reminds Ian Ramirez, Co-Owner of Madera Estates. “Make sure you discuss any decisions on tributes with your partner to support one another and avoid any surprises (some tributes may prove too emotional and catch family members off guard). Also, you want to make sure you coordinate with your photographer so that they can capture any photos or symbolic items.”

These images often become some of the most treasured ones in your gallery. Long after the wedding, you’ll be grateful to have visual reminders of how you honoured the people who couldn’t be there in person.

photo by Nathalia Frykman.– full wedding here 

Avoid using AI

Honouring loved ones is deeply personal, and this is one area where authenticity matters. Avoid scripted wording or AI messages that don’t reflect your voice or emotions.

Nicole Chan, Owner of Nicole Chan Photo & Video, warns, “Do not use AI to generate anything (deep voice fakes for voice messages or combining photos of the deceased with present-day people).”

Your gestures don’t need to be perfect. They just need to be yours. A simple sentiment will always carry more meaning than something that feels overly produced or disconnected from your experience.

Choose what feels right to you

Above all, remember there is no perfect way to go about this. Some couples want visible tributes, while others prefer private gestures. Both are valid, and both can be equally meaningful.

“When honoring passed family members on your wedding day, always approach it with love and sensitivity,” encourages Jillian Canney, Wedding Planner at Peach Perfect Weddings. “Keep in mind that everyone processes loss differently. There’s no right or wrong way to honor someone you love; just choose the gestures that feel right to you.”

This is your wedding day, and the way you honour loved ones should feel aligned with who you are. Trust your instincts and know that whatever you choose will be enough!

photo by Cottage in the Woods Photography –  full wedding here 

This is a collaborative post with Meghan Ely, the owner of wedding PR and marketing firm OFD Consulting and the founder of OFD Collective, a membership community for wedding pros looking to elevate their visibility. She’s a sought-after speaker and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.