4

Dec

2013

Advice From the Married Side – Real Brides Advice From Their Wedding Day

advice from the married side

This afternoon it’s the return of  ‘Advice from the Married Side’. I have so many amazing real weddings on the blog and for each one I feature I ask the brides a number of questions. One of these questions being advice for other couples. Sometimes the answers get lost amongst the pretty pictures of each wedding so I have decided that each month or so I will bring you a selection of these brides (and grooms) words of wisdom! I hope there will be something amongst these brides experiences that help you while planning your own wedding.

2-Ibiza-Wedding-at-Elixir-By-Gypsy-Westwood

 (Photo by Gypsy Westwood)

General Advice

  • Explore your creative side, get people involved, don’t get hung up on what’s expected at a wedding, don’t compromise on your invite list, make sure every face you see around you is someone that makes you smile…..and love every minute of your day!!!
  • Don’t over think about things and don’t worry about things matching, keep it simple. We just did the things we loved and it seemed to look good once it was all together. Keeping it simple seemed to make it fun for us and everyone else.
  • As our vicar said to us, ‘the only thing that needs to happen for your wedding, is for the two of you to be there, sober, and with two witnesses. Everything else is just the party.’ Good advice!!
  • Don’t worry or stress about the small things, of course everyone wants the day to be perfect but once the key things are organised the small things aren’t going to matter on the day.
  • Don’t hire/buy something from someone if you don’t like them, you spend so much money on things for a wedding, you don’t want begrudge a single penny!
  • You don’t have to spend your life savings on one day.
  • Finally, make sure you have something relaxing and stress-free planned for the next day! When we woke up the next morning we were absolutely exhausted after months of planning, the build up to the wedding and the excitement of day itself – we went for breakfast at our hotel, said goodbye to all of our guests and drove to a beautiful remote beach where we just slept all day! It was exactly what we needed.
  • Definitely book a photographer, and the right photographer. After the wedding is over and people have stopped talking about it, the wedding pictures are the best pick me up, ever!
3-Country-Wedding-in-West-Sussex-By-Nicki-Feltham-

 (Photo by Nicki Feltham )

On the day of the Wedding

  • On the day just let go! I remember thinking ‘what happens happens’. It will be amazing, you don’t need to think of a thing on the day, just relax and enjoy.
  • On the day remember to spend time together. We certainly did this, and although initially there was an element of guilt because there are people we wish we’d spoke to more etc we know from seeing them after the wedding that they had a great day.
  •  Everyone said to me before the day that I must make the most of every minute and they were so right – I have never ever known a day to go so quickly, it was as if the day was on fast forward and all I wanted to do was keep rewinding so that I could enjoy it all over again!
  • So your big moment has arrived, all those weeks and months of dreaming and planning and now it is here – Take a deep breath and RELAX!! I really wish I could have reminded myself to do this as in so many of our photographs at the chapel I’m looking really, really nervous!
  • I think the best bit of advice we could give is just enjoy the day and don’t worry about it if some things don’t go to plan, you will probably laugh about the small hiccups a few weeks later
  • Tips for the day, Allocate jobs for people (family and friends) in advance have a list of jobs and tasks that need doing and insure that you both have nothing to do but enjoy the day from the minute you wake up.
  • really don’t worry about the little things. No one will notice and on the day itself you won’t care. I nearly lost it, tears and tantrums, over the flower table centre pieces, but they were just centre pieces. It didn’t actually matter!! 
1-DIY-Warehouse-Wedding-in-Liverpool-by-Babb-Photos

 (Photo by  Laura Babb)

Weddings Abroad

  • We flew out to Ibiza in the May before our August wedding and that definitely calmed nerves. It gave us the opportunity to discuss and meet up with our wedding planner and everybody involved with the wedding day before the actual day.
  • If marrying abroad, employ a wedding planner and trust that they will do a good job. A wedding abroad requires a massive leap of faith as you cannot visit the locations beforehand and you are placing your special day in the hands of a stranger. Research every suggestion your planner makes and ensure you give them a good idea of what it is you want.
  • If you are getting married abroad make sure you delegate; you really won’t have time to be a holiday co-ordinator/tour guide for your guests as well as a wedding planner/nervous bride to be!!
5-Rutic-Farm-Wedding-in-Somerset-by-Christine-Wehrmeier

(Photo by  Christine Wehrmeier)

Organisation

  • Do little bits as you go along and then you can enjoy the process. Don’t leave things till the last minute when things can become a little stressful.
  • Be organised, ask for help (especially if you are planning DIY elements to your day), and decide what are the things that are most important to you about your day – it’s likely that you will need to make compromises so this will help you with those decisions.
  • Take your time and try and keep to a realistic budget. Ours went wrong because we were not realistic in the first place!
  • Spend time, money and effort on the things that people will remember and will add to the fun time people are going to have. Finally, involve the mums and your best friends!
2-Manchester-Tipi-Wedding-By-Nicola-Thompson

 (Photo by Nicola Thompson)

Planning

  • People always told us one day wasn’t enough, so if you can, be absolutely greedy like us and organise a 3 day event where you can relax and enjoy spending time with all your loved one.
  • We decided earlier to only work with people who we felt really comfortable with as you need to be able to rely on their abilities. Everyone we worked with made having a wedding in a challenging venue, in a field near a beach, really enjoyable.
  • Planning ahead and doing as much as possible in advance is really helpful, as the last week can be completely manic!! I started making bunting in January I think (ridiculous I know) but was really pleased I did as we needed about 200 metres and it does take a long time!
  • Find a way to make the planning process fun. It can easily get stressful and make what should be a great celebration of you and your partner a chore
  • We left everything to the last minute and it all turned out better than we ever could have hoped so don’t worry!
  • Also a tipi wedding involves lots of planning, you have to consider things that you might not have to think about for other weddings. Hiring stuff like generators, mobile toilets, land etc is quite daunting.
  • Mostly, just enjoy the planning and the actual day. Both should be enjoyable rather than stressful. We kept ours small as we wanted it to be stress free and fun to plan
28-Boho-Farm-Wedding-in-Oklahoma-By-Blue-Elephant-Photography

 (Photo by Blue Elephant Photography)

Making the Wedding Personal To You

  • Do things that will make you happy. If it isn’t the tradition who cares.
  • Don’t be afraid to do exactly what you want to do. People will love it. There is a lot of unnecessary stress attached to weddings with regards to convention and what you should and shouldn’t do.
  • I’d also say to stay true to the vision you and your partner have for the day. There will be many opinions and times when you’ll want to please everyone – but this is one day that is all about you (and him) so make sure that you’re having the day of your dreams…not anyone elses.
  • Ensure there are lots of touches to bring everything together this will make your day individual and personal.
  • Enjoy the day and don’t care what other people think, it’s your day.
  • Try and do as much DIY as you can and get inspiration from Pinterest, Magazines and wedding blogs. It really helps to make your day as unique and personal as possible and also keeps the costs down.
  • Its your day, no one else’s so you have to do it the exact way you want to.
4-3-Day-Chinese-Wedding-in-Scotland-

(Photo by MackPhotography)

 

I hope you found these pieces of advice helpful if you are in the process of organising your wedding. If you are already married is there anything you would like to add ? Was there anything in these words of wisdom that has resonated with you?

Is there something you would particularly like to ask me  for advice? any questions just email me [email protected]

 

 

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