Advice From the Married Side – Real Brides Advice From Their Wedding Day

This afternoon it’s the return of  ‘Advice from the Married Side’. I have so many amazing real weddings on the blog and for each one I feature I ask the brides a number of questions. One of these questions being advice for other brides. Sometimes the answers get lost amongst the pretty pictures of each wedding so I have decided that each month or so I will bring you a selection of these brides (and grooms) words of wisdom! I hope there will be something amongst these  brides experiences that help you while planning your own wedding.

(Photo credit:  Toast of Leeds)

General Advice

• Pick suppliers that make you feel comfortable and remembers it’s your day.
• I love the fact that so many of us are shunning the traditional venues and taking on a dry hire where you can DIY it, not just to save money as I’m not convinced how cost effective an option it is, but rather, so that we can plan something which reflects our own personalities. My advice is a word of caution on this and that is, unless you have lots of friends and family willing to pitch in (and you actually let them!), please choose your suppliers very carefully. Anybody can set up a great looking website and promise the world but if they fail to deliver, there really isn’t any comeback at all.
• Please, please remember that décor and details are great, but they’re nothing compared to marrying the person you love. When you’re drowning in your to-do list, grab hold of some perspective.
• Relax and enjoy it, all of it, the preparation, the day, the days following it. It shouldn’t be a stressful experience, keep it simple.
• Let go of things if they’re not fun – I dumped a few DIY projects that would have been beautiful but were more stress than they were worth, and nobody would have known any different!
• Remember that everyone will have an opinion on what you should and shouldn’t do – it’s just because people want to be involved.
• Don’t bother with chair covers – we still don’t know what the point is to these!!!

• Ask for help, people love to be involved and have fun with them.

• Don’t stress about the weather, it is out of your control. My day was grey skies and some rain but my memories are so colourful.
•  It took me a long time to decide on having someone to do my hair and make up but it was truly the best decision I ever made. I was reluctant to pay extra for this when I believed I could do it myself but I am so glad I finally opted to book a professional. They took the stress out of everything and when I look at the photos now I am so happy I changed my mind on this.
• Don’t obsess too much about the weather. We had almost gale force winds and a few splashes of rain.

(Photo credit: Tux and Tales) 

Budget

• Don’t feel pressured to invite the world and his wife – keep things simple as costs can easily accelerate!
• Also don’t forget the good old high street – with a good eye and a flair for achieving what you want, it can be a great source for clothes, accessories, etc.
• Keep it real. The biggest challenge we had throughout planning our wedding was choosing what was a priority to us and what didn’t really matter. When we really thought about it we realised quite how much pressure wedding magazines and planning booklets put on you to do things the ‘done’ way – and you really don’t have to. Once we got our heads around the elements that mattered to us we found ourselves saving a fortune on little bits and bobs we didn’t need and got to spend out on the fun things that made a difference to us.
• Pick a couple of aspects of the day that are important to you and splurge on them and save money elsewhere.
• Work out your budget and look at ways you can do things cheaper just by being a bit creative.

(Photo credit: Jay Mountford)

Organisation

• Take the week before the wedding off – it’s amazing how much there is to do beforehand, and how even apparently small tasks take time.
• Delegate lots…wedding planning is stressful!
• There is nothing you can’t do with plenty of time to do it and a little imagination. Do your research and read plenty of blogs (like this one!) and magazines!
• Lists, lists, lists. Lists of lists. I love lists.
• Everything takes longer than you think – making bunting is fun for about an hour!
• Don’t worry if you don’t have time to finish things as nobody notices details that aren’t there except for you.
• Give your bridesmaids a hard deadline to be ready by – we were 20 minutes late to the church!!
• If you’re doing setup yourself, don’t underestimate how long it takes. With the best plans put into action there’s always a surprise that will mean time-frames are moved.

• It’s ok to ask people for ideas as it makes them feel involved but don’t feel you have to use them all

• Plan as much as you can in advance. I really enjoyed the week before the wedding and the few days before as most things were down, just last minute touches.
• I would say its important to take your time with the planning and allow yourself enough time to fully enjoy it without getting too stressed in the lead up to it. I had 1.5 years which I felt was perfect for planning a wedding.
• Try to give yourself as much space as possible to enjoy the build up to the wedding. Many of the jobs that are tempting to leave until the last minute can be done weeks ahead. We had time to relax and enjoy the days running up to it – we would have hated to be stressed out rather than excited.

(Photo credit Nikki Sheffield)

Personalise your wedding

• Plan it to be your own and reflect you as a couple. If you want elegant, be elegant. If you want fun, be fun! If you want trashy, be trashy!
• If you’re a DIY kinda gal (or guy) and especially if you don’t have much time, decide on a few key details to make, then if you have time, do more. We had so many ideas and ended up with so many half finished projects because we just ran out of time.
• Just have the wedding you both want, as much as everyone wants their guests to enjoy it, don’t get caught up in what is “expected” the best weddings we have seen on blogs, been to and our own was because they were special to the couple and reflected them and their individuality.
• Make the day about you and what you really want.
• It is easy to get caught up in the fact that because you are planning a wedding you have to do certain things. In fact, the only thing you really have to do is sign the appropriate piece of paper! We didn’t like the formality of lots of the traditional things that lots people do at a wedding, so we just didn’t do them! Do exactly what you want, what reflects you as a couple and what will make you happy and ignore everything else.
• Do what you want to do! It’s your day, don’t let anyone tell you that you have to do it a certain way! Make it the day you want.
• Be yourself – have the wedding you want not the wedding people expect you to have.
• Do what you want to do. Do not let others influence your planning. It’s your day.
• Make sure that everything you plan is what you want and not what you feel you should have.
• Remember, this day is about you and no-one else. This sometimes gets forgotten in all the planning leading up to a wedding.
• I would say don’t let anyone tell you that you are being too ambitious or taking too much on. Some people were a bit concerned that we were giving ourselves too much to do for the wedding, but I am a very creative person and loved every second of all the crafty bits (well…almost!)

(Photo credit: Jacqui McSweeney)

Photography

• GET A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER. That day only happens once.
• I also recommend an engagement photo shoot, which helps you bond with your photographers, them get a sense of who you are, and ensure you’re comfortable with having your pictures taken on the day.

• Invest in a good photographer who gets you. They’re responsible for your memories, and no one wants bad memories.

(Photo credit: Photos by Zoe)

On The day of The Wedding

• On the day, take your time and savour and enjoy EVERY minute, because it goes so quickly!
• Things will go wrong. You won’t give two figs as long as you end up married.
• If things run to your carefully planned timings, it’ll be a miracle! It’s fine – nobody minds.
• Don’t worry if you don’t manage a decent conversation with every guest if you’re having a big wedding – just go with the flow.
• It took me 90 minutes to go from the garden to the loos to change my dress and remove my veil because of all the hugging. Do not try to go anywhere at speed!!
• I know everyone says it but cherish every moment. The day goes so fast!! We couldn’t believe it when evening guests started arriving, we were like ‘how is it half 7 already!!’
• Take some time for it just to be the two of you.
• On the day all that you will notice is the love that you feel for your new husband and family and friends that are there to share the special day with you.
• Tips for the day are relax, surround yourself with your friends and family and make sure you sit back and enjoy it
• Take moments during the day to look around you, soak everything up and cherish the moment – it will go by like a flash
• I know this is said a lot but it’s so true. Try and make sure you actually get to spend some time with your new husband/wife at the reception as you can kind of lose each other will all the socialising to be done!

(Photo credit: Gabriel Gastelum)

I hope you found these pieces of advice helpful if you are in the process of organising your wedding. If you are already married is there anything you would like to add ? Was there anything in these words of wisdom that has resonated with you?

Is there something you would particularly like to ask me  for advice? any questions just email me [email protected]