Ask the Experts: Hunting Down Guests for RSVPs? Here’s How to Get a Response

photoYour wedding date is inching closer, the seating chart is waiting to be finalised, and yet a handful of guests still haven’t RSVP’d. Chasing after responses can feel a bit awkward, especially when you’re trying to balance being polite with the very real need to lock down your numbers.

The good news? There are simple ways to nudge those stragglers without losing your sanity. In fact, with a few thoughtful strategies, you can keep things stress-free while making sure everyone’s accounted for. Let’s dive into how to strike that balance and finally get the answers you need!

Hunting Down Guests for RSVPs? Here’s How to Get a Response

photo by Gema’s Photography LLC – full wedding here

Lead with kindness

It’s easy to feel frustrated when people drag their feet on RSVPs, but starting your reminder with warmth helps set the right tone. A kind message is much more likely to get a response than a sharp demand.

Kelley Nudo, Client Relations & Operations Director at Momental Designs, emphasizes, “Keeping it kind is best, because one should never assume the guest was purposely trying to blow off the wedding invitation, there could be a myriad of reasons why the RSVP was not given.”

Most of the time, late RSVPs aren’t malicious. Life gets busy, and people simply forget. By leading with kindness, you remind your guests that the day is about joy and connection, not ticking boxes.

photo by Tarren Bailey Photography, LLC – full wedding here 

Personalize your message

A blanket “please RSVP” reminder might get overlooked, especially if guests think it’s just another mass message. A personal note, text, or quick call feels more thoughtful, and it makes it harder to ignore.

“Make the message personal by giving them an inside look at where you are in the wedding planning stage,” recommends Mary Angelini, Videographer at Key Moment Films. “Something like: ‘We’re so excited to celebrate with everyone and want to make sure we’ve saved you a seat. We’re finalizing our seating chart and giving the caterer our meal counts this week.’”

It doesn’t have to be lengthy or formal. But adding a personal touch shows your guests you genuinely care about their presence, not just their headcount.

photo by Lavel Marie Photography. – full wedding here 

Delegate

Passing this task off can save you a world of stress. Plus, guests are often quicker to respond when the nudge comes from someone they know well.

Erin Dabbs, Lead Photographer at Erin Ren Photography, says, “I recommend delegating the follow-ups to someone else — you already have enough on your plate. If possible, divide the missing RSVPs by family sides and assign them to someone willing to help or someone very involved. An aunt who’s well-established in the family is usually my go-to.”

This way, you can stay focused on the fun parts of wedding planning, while someone else handles the reminders. Think of it as another way to share the load. It’s still your wedding, but you don’t have to do it all yourself!

photo by Desert Born Studios – full wedding here

Have a digital option

Gone are the days when posting a card back was the only way to RSVP. Offering a digital option makes it far easier for guests to respond on the spot.

“From what I’ve seen with couples, the most effective method is a wedding website or QR code linked directly to it,” shares Craig Peterman, Photographer & Videographer at Craig Peterman Photography & Videography. “We are chronically on our phones, so making the RSVP a two-click process dramatically increases response rates. Paper RSVP cards are still fun, but they tend to get lost easily. A hybrid system of digital plus traditional usually works best.”

The easier you make it, the fewer excuses people have.

Alex Bovee, Owner & Lead Planner at Vision in White Events, agrees, adding, “Lately, I think the wedding website with the QR code included is the most effective. It takes you directly where you need to go, and with just a few button clicks, you are all done.”

This also helps you keep everything organised in one place. No more worrying about cards getting lost in the post or tallying responses across scattered notes. A digital option streamlines the process and keeps things simple for both you and your guests.

PHOTO BY J. MICHELLE PHOTOGRAPHY – FULL WEDDING HERE 

Ask the right questions

Your RSVP is more than just a “yes” or “no.” It’s also the perfect time to gather important details that save you from chasing later.

“It’s never a bad idea to ask about dietary restrictions right on the RSVP card or alongside the meal selection,” reminds Emily Reno, Owner of Elopement Las Vegas. “These days, so many guests have allergies or food preferences, and you’ll want your caterer to know in advance so they can plan special meals if needed. Collecting that information up front saves you from having to track people down later and ensures every guest is taken care of on the day of the wedding.”

It also makes your guests feel seen and included. When it comes to wedding planning, there’s never harm in collecting a few extra details!

photo by gabrielas photography and film – full shoot here 

Focus on what you can control

At some point, you have to accept that not everyone will reply as quickly as you’d like. So instead, focus your energy on the things you can control, like setting a clear deadline and making a plan for those who don’t respond.

Amos Gott, Chief Event Architect at AmosEvents, shares, “If you still get silence, make a decision based on your comfort level. Some couples choose to assume a no and move forward. Others build in a few extra seats just in case. Either way, protect your peace.”

Chasing RSVPs is just one small piece of your wedding journey. With a mix of patience and kindness, you’ll get the answers you need without losing sight of what really matters—the joy of bringing your favourite people together. So take a deep breath and remember: the guests who matter most will be there to celebrate right alongside you!

This is a collaborative post from Meghan Ely who is the founder of OFD Consulting, a public relations agency specializing in publicity, speaking engagements, and thought leadership for wedding and event professionals. Additionally, she is a long time wedding industry speaker, traveling globally.