If you’re headed towards an engagement, you’re going to want to make sure your partner knows exactly what kind of engagement ring you like. The idea that your other half would be able to pick out the perfect ring is a nice thought and all, but it’s just not entirely realistic for most couples. You’ve probably got a ton of specific preferences and shopping for engagement rings can be quite overwhelming, so give your significant other a little break by letting them know which style you like.
How to Drop Hints to Get an Engagement Ring You’ll Love
Why Dropping Hints Is Important
Unless you’re the kind of person who genuinely doesn’t care what your engagement ring looks like (and that’s fine, too), it’s crucial that you give your partner some clues into your desired look. The reality is that engagement rings are an investment, with the average one costing around $5,500 in America. Plus, in theory, you’ll be wearing it every day for the rest of your life. While you certainly could make changes to the ring after the proposal, it might be a challenge to get all of your money back if it was custom-made by your partner. In other words, it’s definitely best to get it right the first time.
If your partner is somewhat of a romantic, they may find it a bit too transactional to go to the jewelry store and choose the ring together. But know that this is a perfectly acceptable thing to do if it’s something you’re considering, and it’s becoming more and more common every year. In fact, a recent study showed that about 63 percent of couples pick out the ring together. In other words, you certainly won’t be in the minority if you go this route. With that said, it’s also totally OK to desire some surprise element, especially if you are not really particular about the design.
How to Drop Sly Hints
So how do you drop sly hints about your ring preferences without downright picking it out yourself? There’s no way to do it without your partner knowing you’re thinking about a future engagement, and that’s OK. If they are not on the same page, it’s a good time to get the conversation going. With that said, there are tons of clever ways to go about dropping hints, but here are some of our favorites.
Make Sure Friends and Family KnowWhat You Like — If your partner is crafty, they’ll probably go straight to your mom, sister or best friend for ideas on what kind of ring to buy. Make sure they all have a good idea of your preferences. The most important things they need to know include what shape of diamond you like, whether you prefer a white or yellow gold-toned band and if you prefer a solitaire, a halo setting or an option with multiple sparkly center stones. If you have to, send them an email with all the details so they have it to reference when the time comes.
Share Your Favorites on Social Media — Make sure you’ve got Instagram folders and Pinterest boards stocked with your favorite diamond engagement ring settings. Over time, preferably at least a year or so before you think the proposal might happen, send your future spouse the occasional photo or two of rings you like. You might also consider sharing the pages of local jewelers, jewelry designers and brands so they know where to start.
Make a List of Must–Havesand Share It — If you’re more of the direct type, make sure your partner has a list of all your non-negotiables when it comes time to seal the deal. Make a list in your phone of all the features you desire in a dream ring and share it with your partner via email so it’s accessible when it’s time to go shopping. Make sure to include basics like metal preference, stone shape and setting style. When considering the center stone, it will help to let your partner know about your preferences. For example, explain if you prefer size over quality or if you’d rather have the most perfect stone you can get within your budget regardless of size.
Scroll Through Images Together — When you’re relaxing at home with your partner, make a point to scroll through a few images or videos with your partner nearby. If you see something you like, show it to them in a casual way. Make sure to point out all the features you love and also ones you dislike.
Try On Others’ Rings — When you’re with friends and family members who are married or engaged, ask to try on their rings and show your partner which features you love about them. If you can do so in a way that’s not rude or offensive, you can also point out things about the ring that you might change. For example, something like, “I love square diamonds but I’m afraid they’d make my already-short fingers look even shorter,” or something of that nature. If they’re paying attention, this information will get logged for later.
Discuss All Options — Sure, we all love the idea of being totally blindsided by an over-the-top surprise proposal, but that’s not the only way to do things. It’s becoming more and more common for brides to help pick out the engagement ring and even go to the jewelry store together. Another creative way to ensure you get the ring you want is to have your partner propose with the setting only (these are called semi-mount ring settings because they don’t come with the center stone) and then customize it with your stone choice later.
At the end of the day, it’s important that you get a ring you like enough to wear every day for the rest of your life. While every couple is different and has their own vision of the proposal, it may be worth forgoing an all-out surprise in favor of getting it right the first time. There’s nothing wrong with having a direct, frank conversation with your partner about what you like to ensure that they pick the perfect ring.