happy Thursday everyone, how are you all on this glorious Thursday morning? I hope the...
Here on the blog we often talk about wedding planning, what to do first and what you need to prioritise. Wedding planning can seem like an endless task at times, and often overwhelming. However, it is meant to be fun and something you and your partner can enjoy together. Today, instead of looking at those things you need to do first, we are looking at the things you don’t need to rush into. I am delighted to welcome the Modern Gents Marketing Team as guest writers to the blog today, so we can see the wedding world through men’s eyes for a change. They are here to tell you how to chill out, take things a bit slower and how to really enjoy your wedding planning.
Some people can make it sound like the deposits on reception venues need to be in before you even bother entering the dating pool. Planning ahead can be a money-saver and a stress-reducer, but the moment of engagement should be about relishing the prospect of a lifetime spent together, not panicking about falling behind on wedding logistics. You don’t have to do everything all at once. So if the most important thing is making sure your brother’s cover band can play your first dance, then by all means give his phone the second ring of the day. But if deciding what to prioritize feels overwhelming, here’s a few suggestions for wedding planning tasks that you don’t have to rush to do.
If you fall into the average length of an engagement (12-18 months), and you follow the recommended order time for a wedding dress (around nine months), then you’ve got some time. But your engagement time doesn’t have to be dictated by a wedding dress timeline, and if you decide that you want to get married in just a couple of months, you still have options. How long you wait for a dress doesn’t make it wedding material. Wearing it to a wedding does. Groomsmen garments are even simpler. Whether they are being rented or bought, it requires some coordination, but you don’t have to start worrying about that just yet. As for the jewelry that accompanies the exchange of vows, taking care of the engagement ring has potentially given you a leg up on your search for affordable wedding rings. However, you should make sure that you’ve got the sizes right just before the wedding so that you avoid dislocating any fingers trying to cram them on at the altar.
Some of the first people with whom you share the news of your engagement are going to be people who wind up being in your wedding party. If you’ve always known who you want standing at your side when you say your vows, feel free to let that be part of the proposal announcement conversation. But you don’t have to feel pressure to blurt out a decision while you are caught up in the maelstrom of such an enormous life decision and before you’ve thought through all the other logistics yet. You just made a huge commitment to one person, so those other commitments can bide their time. Every friend group dynamic and family culture is different, but if you change the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen after already inviting some, it can feel like you are establishing tiers.
Maybe the decor is going to be the most enjoyable part of wedding planning. If so, jump right in. But if not, don’t stress about it, especially if you don’t have a sense for the venue or the budget. The centerpieces don’t take center stage – the bride and groom do. Even if you don’t end up having time to hang those signs that say “Bride” and “Groom” on the backs of your chairs at the reception dinner, people will still be able to identify you.
This is obviously a critical step, so don’t wait too long. You want to do the research on the process ahead of time, since it varies so much by state, county and town. But since some places only have a limited window – potentially as short as 10 days – in which you can have the ceremony and sign the license, you might have to wait on this one.
It’s well-nigh impossible to rush off and put together a seating chart before you know who is coming and where the event is being held. But even once you lock those things down, recognize that there is still going to be some fluidity to the seating chart as guests unexpectedly cancel or social dynamics change. If your mom’s brothers just got into a dispute about a boat, maybe they are not going to end up sitting next to each other. Two of your close friends just paired whirlwind romances with surprise elopements, so no need to plop up at the singles table.
A general principle is to do the research on options without necessarily committing to details. Then, you’ll know the time frame without getting locked into anything. A lot of things are going to change between the moment of engagement and the wedding itself. Apart from cufflinks or a wedding necklace, things might fit differently. The song you’d slated for your first dance just got slapped into a popular horror movie. Remain calm. As long as the other person saying those vows stays the same, there’s no need to worry. And if you are looking for help deciding what to do ASAP, in addition to what you can put on the back burner, here’s another handy list.
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