Today on Ask The Experts, we are looking at a subject we haven’t covered before...
This afternoon we welcome back our resident wedding planning experts, Carmela Weddings, who have some (albeit rather tongue in cheek) advice for the guys out there who may be feeling a little bit dazed and confused! This may spark some ideas you can use on your own wedding day, or if there are some ladies out there wishing their fella’s had more input maybe you could leave this page open on your desktop?!
As they quite rightly say though, in all seriousness the day is about the pair of you. You can get involved, or not, as much as you want. Wedding planning is stressful business and whilst you might both wish to escape the planning, ideally it’s teamwork that makes the dream work! So get involved as a couple and make it YOUR day.
So I know it’s the 21st Century, gender fluidity is old hat and whilst I’m sure we would all hold the door open for anyone, there are still some corners of society that are resisting this enlightened age of equality and empowerment. And at the top of this inauspicious list – step forward planning a wedding!
I don’t really know why this baffling industry in which I work should be like this – let’s not forget a wedding is about the joining of two people in an equal partnership. So this blog post is aimed squarely at the husband-to-bes, sitting sulkily and pretending they don’t care about the way their wedding looks, or who is invited, or what food to choose.
Now, I’m not suggesting you come flying in all guns blazing and demanding that all your requirements are met or the wedding is off! However, there are ways to maintain your enigmatic distance and still get your ideas across – read on:
The Cambridge English dictionary says stealth is : “movement that is quiet and careful in order not to be seen or heard, or secret action”. Secret action. That’s the key. Not lying or being disingenuous, but stealthy. Slow and steady wins the race, different ways to skin a cat, softly softly catchy monkey etc. Drop very subtle mentions of something you’d like to see at the wedding into conversations over a long period of time. Before you know it, you have made your idea her idea – a classic timeless technique to (sometimes) get what you want!
What it says on the tin. It’s not pretty but it can be effective. Him – “If I get you those £800.00 shoes, can I have a Tequila bar at the wedding”? Her – “Yes”.
OK, you may want bottles of 15 year old Scotch on every table as a nod to your Scottish ancestry, but come on, think about this, it’s not going to happen. However, perhaps a dram for each guest to toast the happy couple could be achieved.
We are all inherently competitive, albeit some more than others, but the thought of a colleague, friend, relative, casual acquaintance, reality TV star having something at their wedding which would outshine yours is usually the kryptonite to your wife’s Superman.
The power of suggestion is a marvellous thing. To understand it you need to appreciate the nature of suggestion and how it works. The power of covert persuasion has a lot to do with how skillfully you weave your intentions into conversation. For example, if you want to convince your wife-to-be to choose a certain band, don’t give them the option of turning you down. Instead of asking, “Do you like the look of this band”? Just ask, “When are we booking this band again?”
Asking your question this way makes your partner think that they have already agreed to selecting the band, and that it is only a matter of time before it happens.
NB – women generally have great memories. This may not always work.
Now remember chaps, this is JUST A BIT OF FUN, but on a serious note, you do want your wedding to be a day you will both love, and the best weddings are always those where both personalities shine through!
As a husband and wife team, we are perfectly placed to help you with all aspects of your wedding planning so please – make use of our combined knowledge and experience by getting in touch!
Lisa and Sam create contemporary stylish weddings for modern, fashion-forward couples in the UK and Malta. They love an urban wedding and know how to put on a fabulous party! They’ve also been married for a year and love travelling.
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