2 people 1 Life: Wedding 38 – Zulu Wedding, South Africa

Today we are back with Lisa and Alex from 2 people 1 life for wedding number 38.  Last time we saw them take part in a Traditional Xhosa Tribal Wedding Ceremony, and today the traditions carry on with this rather fabulous Zulu Wedding. This wedding is amazing, so full of colour and some amazing characters that got involved. There are also some amazing shots by Derryn Semple a super talented photographer who captured the day perfectly.

(In case you have missed it the whole story Lisa and Alex have spent the last two years travelling round the world getting married in every country they visit, you can read more about their adventures HERE.)

The very next day we jumped into Myrtle and completed our drive to Durban where we were lucky to be meeting up with an incredible young photographer. Derryn Semple. She had contacted us after seeing our article in Marie Clare. She had ummed and aahed about getting in touch for a while and we are so glad that she bit the bullet and ‘just did it’.
We arrived and met her at her friends coffee shop, the Bean Green and gelled straight away. She seemed laid back, confident and had a lovable breeze of genuine happiness about her.
We had a quick natter and then set off to the market to collect our outfits for the wedding. When we got to the market we were bubbling with excitement, 1. we love markets, 2. we love markets and 3. We were collecting genuine article Zulu outfits! The first thing that hits you in the Durban markets is the smell…it is incredible. The spices are intoxicating and you can almost smell the colours around you. Durban has the largest Indian population outside of India and the markets reflect this heavily. Side by side the Zulus, Indians and White South Africans sell their wares.
Such an eclectic mix of things and people! Spices, animal skins, bead-work, art, Tupperware, flip flops (or slops), wood carved into all kinds of scary looking creatures, fabrics, crockery, food…you name it you could find it!

Thankfully Derryn had already been and selected our outfits and arranged for us to loan them from the shop keepers otherwise I could have been there all day littering myself with beads, choosing what colours to wear and finding Alex all kinds of hilarious things to strap to himself! We went into the shops and tried on what she had previously selected with help from the local Zulu stores and happily agreed with her choice.

We packed up our bags and shields and beads and everything else we needed and went to collect Mark, Derryn’s other half. They took us on a small tour of the city and then we went out with them for a Bunny Chow!
A bunny Chow is my ideal food! Curry INSIDE a bread loaf! The end is cut off the loaf and the soft bread scooped out and served on the side with the hollowed out loaf filled with spicy hot, steaming curry. No knives or forks are used and you eat the whole thing with your fingers! It is food from the Gods!
We had a great evening and were very excited for the wedding the next day!

Morning came and we drove over to meet Derryn and a couple of her friends. We all drove over to Street Scene to meet Sthembiso and Richard who took us straight to get snacks at an AMAZING samoosa store which was jam packed and then on to the market to buy the vegetables we would need for our wedding feast. We snacked and listened all the way to the Valley of 1000 Hills about the South African history of apartheid.

Sthembiso explained more to us about the ‘Labola’, the ‘payment’ of cows for a bride. He told us that the law used to state that 4 cows was appropriate payment but the law has just increased the cost of the labola to 11 cows!!!! This law change has come about to try to reduce the number of men taking more than one wife.
In times past the men of the tribes would take more than one wife to help manage his land and home. Labour was not available, money was not used and trading farmed goods was the norm. Each home would need up to 8 boys to run the farm and 8 girls to run the home, hence needing more than one wife to give the family enough children.

Once we arrived in the Valley of 1000 hills in Isithumba we were happily greeted by the ambassador of our visit. Next we were introduced to our guide whose task it was to teach us more about the cultures and traditions of the Zulus and to show us around this part of the village. We were intrigued to learn as much as possible and listened hard as he explained that the river was the meeting point in the village. The women would be working there washing the clothes, preparing food and the men would go there to try to ask the girls for their hand in marriage.

The men were not to approach the women or to talk to them but they had to show the girl in question that he was interested. By dancing and making a show of himself the man must try to make his coveted bride laugh! The women were known to test a man and his temper by pouring buckets of water over their heads to see how they would respond and to make a decision if he was the man for her!
Once this stage of the courtship was complete the man can ask a family member of the girl if she will accept his proposal. If she accepts she must do this by making a bracelet from reeds found by the river and present it to him.
Once the proposal is accepted a flag (white is she is a virgin, red if she is not) would be flown from the roof of the girls family home to tell other suitors that she is betrothed and then the family begin to plan a wedding!
We all sat and made bracelets from the reeds and of course, I gave mine to Alex to accept his proposal…he even did a celebratory dance!

Next, it was wedding time! We went up to the village and were taken by the hands into separate houses, I by the women and girls of the village, Alex by the boys and men, to be dressed! It must have been 1000 degrees and the minute I stepped into the house the sweat poured from me! They all fussed around attaching beads to me everywhere. Around my neck, my wrists, my ankles and even my knees! It was so hot even my elbows were sweating!
The men were a little more shy when dressing Alex, they helped him fasten his animals skins in place and helped him put his armbands the right way around and danced him immediately over to my house. I could hear the men singing outside and the already electric atmosphere in the house increased a notch. The women huddled around me and began to sing, the hairs pricked up on the back of my neck and as a leopard print umbrella, a straw mat and a 6 inch knife were shoved into my hands I felt a swell of both pride…and sheer panic! it was time!
We danced out of the house to much cheering and even louder singing from the men. We, the women, had to bend our knees and keep our eyes on the floor to show respect for them and we formed a line opposite a dirt track where they all huddled quite tightly under the shade of a tree singing their hearts out and occasionally breaking into a dance.

As the singing continued all around me I dared to sneak a glance at Alex, he was grinning ear to ear and awkwardly stepping from one foot to another to the beat of the song. I laughed and retrained my stare to the ground and on the other ladies feet as we danced in step while clapping, singing and ululating! Energy buzzed around us, I could feel the happiness washing over me in the drunken heat it was such an incredible experience and the surge of adrenalin that shot through me when the singing finally died down to allow the chief of police speak nearly made me keel over!

The man holding the ceremony is entitled the ‘chief of Police’. This does not mean he is a police man but that he is the right hand man of the Chief of the village. He polices all things and helps the Chief run his village. He stood before us in his strange uniform and his glassy eyes and spoke to us in Zulu.
He held a staff with which he hit the ground when he spoke and he was speaking to me! He was asking me if I would take this man to be my husband! My ‘mother’ for the day told me to remain silent and stifled a giggle!
He struck the ground again and asked me once more! Do I take this man! in Zulu. This time louder and clearer! Again, my mother for the day laughed under her hand with mischief in her eyes and told me to remain quiet!
Once more, this time loudly and with a serious strike to the floor I was asked, DO YOU TAKE THIS MAN TO BE YOUR HUSBAND?
This time my Mother for the day told me to step forward and raise the knife and to look into Alex’s eyes and say ‘I do!’.
I followed instruction and the place exploded! Laughter and singing and dancing and clapping all happened simultaneously and we were clapped on the backs by everyone. By holding my tongue the first few times I was asked I had unknowingly built up the tension to a colossal level, they thought I was having second thoughts and were delirious with relief when I finally said yes!

The dancing and singing continued, men and women would take their turns, the women and then men dancing like they had not a care in the world. Alex however stole the show. He does not have the rhythm that most do and moving arm and legs at the same time for him is a big no, no but he absolutely nailed it at this dance. He was told to ‘dance the way you feel about Lisa accepting your hand in marriage’ and I have never seen anyone jump so high! He had bare feet in the dusty gravel and even that didn’t slow him down! My heart swelled with pride and emotion and I fought back tears as we continued to dance.

Once we were all danced out I had to unroll my mat onto the floor and get Alex to lay on it. The girls covered him up and one of the men explained that he had to pretend to be asleep and if any of the women touched him or spoke to him he had to jump up and run away as fast as he could or they would whip him!! Alex did as he was told and laid down and was covered up. The women sure enough snuck up and whispered to him and he ran away as everyone around us laughed hysterically. It was all to represent that once Alex was married he wouldn’t dream of any other women. It was rather amusing watching him running away petrified of being whipped! We were still laughing as we made our way up to the houses to have a drink and some food to finish the celebration.

Chairs had been set up in the house and straw mats of the floor but it was just too hot. We moved the furniture outside and sat where there was a little shade. The women sat on straw mats on the floor and the men on the chairs. We were kept separate again like at the Xhosa ceremony and it was explained again that this was to build the excitement of our first night alone.
As the men sat and drank the home made beer us women dished out the food. I was told I must serve my husband first. His plate was put onto a tray and I was told to take it to him and to kneel on the ground before him and to hand him his food.
I begrudgingly followed orders MUCH to Alex’s enjoyment. Cheers went up all around us as I handed him his plate and the beer drinking commenced as I handed out meals to the rest of the men.
Finally it was our turn to eat and we sat on the floor and ate with our fingers. The food was good, spinach, ugali, pumpkin and a tray of meat which was handed around separately with a diluted juice to wash it all down. We laughed as we watched the men, led by Alex, have a small drinking competition and all of a sudden it was time to leave.

I was sad to go and as we were hugged and hugged again by everyone I could no longer keep my tears in check.

Such an incredible day and such incredible people. Again we had been readily accepted as friends, even more, family; and invited us into their homes and together we celebrated the worldwide occasion of marriage.

We spent the drive back to Durban listening to Sophies amazing singing voice and learning more about the Zulu cultures and traditions but I don’t remember much of it, I think I was in a complete daze after such an incredible day!
To say we felt incredibly blessed is an understatement!

• Photos by www.derrynsemple.com 
  

To follow Lisa and Alex’s journey go to

http://2people1life.com/blog/ / http://2people1life.com/blog/the-whole-journey / FACEBOOK /
@2people1life

If you have missed any of the previous weddings you can catch up HERE