Wedding Discussions……Are detailed weddings on their way out?

A month or so ago I was asked by the lovely people at Bride Tide to comment on a feature they were writing about 2013 wedding trends. I was delighted to be asked and got to thinking about what I saw as next year’s big thing. I thought for a while about what I had seen coming through in the weddings I have been submitted lately and the thing that stood out to me was the details! A Large proportion of the weddings I get sent these days are detail heavy, and yes this may add to the whole aesthetics of the wedding day, but how much stress does this put on the couple hosting such a wedding?

What I have noticed though from a few of my more recent submissions and mainly from the American and Australian photographers, is that weddings are going back to basics, less fuss and more attention on the actual couple getting married. Now don’t get me wrong, most weddings especially in this country are still detail rich but I when I final decided on my 2013 trend for Bride Tide it was ‘less is More’ and strangely (and with no discussion between the two of us) so did Kat from Rock n Roll Bride!
Here’s what I told them

‘I believe that weddings will become more stripped back and minimalistic. We have seen so much styling going on that I think in 2013 couples will want to get back to basics and let the wedding be more about them. So the old phrase ‘Less is more’ will come into play. Less details, less fuss. So simple minimalistic décor and more relaxed styling. Couples have become swamped with over stylistic wedding ideas so think minimalistic venues, simple flowers with stripped back table decoration, clean lines, simple rustic elements, un fussy ideas for a couple that want the wedding to be about them NOT the details and styling.’

Now I talked about wedding details back in June and I asked you then if you thought the wedding details were important and this led to some discussion between the lot of you. And to be honest I can see the good and bad in both.
As a wedding planner and a wedding blogger I wear two hats on the subject of wedding details.

As a Planner I am more interested with the logistics of the day, getting the right suppliers in to make sure the wedding runs on time and nothing goes wrong. In that case the more details and more fuss the more things there are to go wrong. I also work closely with the couples and see what a stress making sure their wedding is ‘blog worthy’ causes them. To many times I have heard bride’s apologies to me and to photographers for the lack of details or the lack of fuss, this should NEVER happen! No bride should feel put upon to make her wedding something that it isn’t!
Yes if you are a DIY queen then knock yourself out, make the invitations, sew 100s of meters of bunting, get out your tissue paper and get started on those pom poms, but if you’re not then don’t create a wedding that isn’t you!
As a planner I see a lot of weddings and the thing that gets me every time is the emotion of the day, the couple exchanging vows, the family and friends helping them celebrate and the closeness of everyone around them wishing them well on their life together. It’s not the details that make me cry, it’s the love between the couple……isn’t this the most important thing?
I always tell my couples I am working with, remember why you are getting married, the actual wedding will last a day but the marriage itself will hop fully last a life time, it’s better to focus on that than what colour the napkins should be!

As a Blogger I’m always looking for details in the weddings that are submitted to me, I know my readers like to see pretty things and get inspiration for their own day. BUT I do always like to feature the couple and the love between them, the ceremony, the first look, the speeches, the portrait shots, they are more important to me than the guest book or photo booth, BUT they are still included in the blog post as they were important to the couple!.

But am I guilty of creating and nurturing this on-going trend for detail heavy weddings, without blogs like mine would brides be that bothered about them? And if this is true is it now my responsibility to try and revert the trend and get people back to basics??
I have to admit though my favourite sort of wedding is a simple rustic, outdoor wedding, and it’s those sorts of weddings that don’t need all the fuss!

I have asked two people with different points of view to give me their thoughts…..

For Details – Stephanie from Chrimson and Clover Photos 
If you’ve spent any amount of time at a wedding in the last three to four years, you’ve noticed them. Maybe they haven’t been immediately obvious, but they left a lasting impression — you went home marvelling and raving about the wedding you attended, how happy the couple was, and how beautifully done the entire shebang seemed. It might have occurred to you later, when you were online reading a wedding blog or cruising the latest offerings on Pinterest, that the wedding you loved so much was special for two reasons: the happy couple getting married, and the way they put their personalities into every last detail of the day.
I’ve shot all kinds of weddings — weddings at which it was clear that there was a massive budget for details, and weddings at which it was clear there was not. I’ve seen upscale, tasteful affairs at which there were no special details whatsoever, and I’ve seen super DIYed weddings that were exploding with hand-made banner cake toppers and yarn poms. Every time I see a mason jar or a vintage typewriter at a wedding I smile: I like mason jars and typewriters, too.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with detailing your wedding — in fact, I think if anything, the pressure that couples feel to overly their detail is a result of the way we read blogs and participate in social media today. I’ve known couples who have poured themselves into every last centimetre of their wedding day details, and for whom seeing the entire wedding come to life exactly how they’ve imagined it for years is a moment worth crying over — in a good way. I’ve also known couples who didn’t deck out their halls and were equally joyous the day they got married. Ultimately, I think the decisions about the design and appearance of the wedding lie with the two getting married, and if tons of details are their thing — go for it. You don’t need them, but if you want them, then the more the merrier!
Your wedding is yours. At the end of the day, you’re still walking out married to the person you love. Everything else.. Is in the details.

Against details – Maisy Carr From Maisy Carr Photography 
When you think of a Wedding what comes to mind? I’m certain it will not be the tiny details that Brides and Grooms spend hours slaving over.
Yes, details do add a certain sparkle and charm to a wedding; especially if you want it to reminisce some of your favourite past times and share your personal style with your guests. Your friends and family know you! That’s why you invited them right? They came to your wedding to witness your marriage, not to mark you on your artistic flare and ability to buy rare items from e-bay.
While they might ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at the cleverly crafted table decorations or slip a personalised name card in their purse, they will not truly understand the exhaustion and stress that has gone into making your Wedding stand out from the crowd for those few seconds when they walk in the room.
When planning your Wedding worry about the important things that you will remember for years to come. Make sure you say ‘Hello’ to your guests who travelled from far and wide. Hug and kiss your family and thank them for being there for you throughout the years. Share stories, take photos, eat and drink and relax with your future husband or wife.
Don’t work yourself up the night before your big day worrying if everything will be positioned how you asked, and look how you imagined 10 months ago when you started to create your theme. The chances are things will not be as perfect as you thought and you will spend your day feeling exhausted and looking around wishing for a different wedding, when it was not the wedding you had originally wished for, but the marriage to the person you love.

I’ve been to a couple of weddings as a guest this year and neither wedding had loads of details, and did I care? No I didn’t, I was there to see the coupe get married, to help them celebrate a lifelong commitment to each other. Do I remember the ceremony…yes I cried all the way through, do I remember the food….yes I do and it was lovely on both accounts, did I dance all night……yes I did! What did the guest book look like? Was there bunting? I have NO idea!!

Personally my wedding wasn’t detail heavy, it was simple, easy and it was perfect. 3 and half years ago wedding blogs weren’t as popular, so I wasn’t drip fed image after image of amazing pretty details, so I wasn’t so bothered. PLUS I was getting married in a different country in a beautiful location that needed little or no decoration, so why should I bother? Plus getting everything over to Ibiza would have been a nightmare even if I’d wanted to.
BUT in the UK sometimes it can be different. Our venues aren’t the greatest, and neither is the weather. Because of that a lot of the time we feel we have to make up for that with loads of details and decoration!

So do I think detailed weddings are on their way out? yes I do! Maybe not straight away, but I think in time people will grow tired of an every growing list of things to do and go back to basics. Venues are getting better and hopefully as the wedding laws get more relaxed or people opt for personal blessings against civil ceremonies in tired licensed buildings the need for so much décor and detail will go!

I always say ‘create the wedding you want, not the one you’re told to have’ and this can be looked at both ways; If you want to make your wedding stand out from everyone else’s then go for it, but don’t stress yourself out in the process!
Details have their place and they are lovely, but I’m looking forward to seeing more natural looking weddings where the couples love shines through!

So what do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Have you had or are you having a detail heavy wedding? Has it been a good thing or have you found the whole thing to stressful? Have you, or are you having a simple wedding? Do you think that my prediction for 2013 will come true? Or do you think that details are here to stay?

♥  You can read more wedding discussions HERE  ♥