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23
May
2012
By Boho
Last Thursday I ran a bit of a proposal special as I featured this gorgeous proposal shoot as well as introducing you to The Proposers. This got to me thinking about wedding proposals and weather they actually live up to our exceptions.
There is so much pressure these days on men (and sometimes women) to give the perfect proposal, as it is one of those stories that you will find yourself telling time and time again. Many of us will spend years dreaming of that magic moment when the love of our lives pops the questions, and many of us will want it to be a story fit to tell the grandchildren in years to come.
But do we put too much pressure on our other half? Surely it’s nerve racking enough without the added pressure of making the moment completely magical! Surely the pressure and worry of you actually saying yes is enough to worry about?
So toady I wanted to open up the blog to you, and let you have your say, I’d like to know
1) Do you think wedding proposals over rated? What are your thoughts?
2) What is your proposal story? Was it big, small, flamboyant? Or don’t you like a fuss?
‘when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible’. (when Harry me Sally)
I’ll start the ball rolling…………
Personally for me it was third time lucky with Nik! Not something I mention that often but I was engaged twice before I actually got married to Nik. The first time I was very young, 19 in fact and it happened on my year out before I went to University. He got down on one knee in the middle of the high street one night after the pub, I said yes…….not exactly the most romantic of settings. Needless to say I went off to University and the relationship lasted another 10 months before we split up.
The second time was when I was 26 and we had been together for 6 months. It happened at Southport Weekender (a 3 day long soul and house rave that used to take place in Southport Pontins) we were in the soul room in Saturday afternoon at a Beverly Knight Gig and he popped the question, I again said yes. We were engaged for 4 horrible years and the relationship was far from perfect. We set the date for the wedding and changed/cancled it twice, I eventually cancelled it completely 4 years later when I split up with him……a very close call the man was an idiot of the highest order!
With Nik it was different, for one he actually had the ring when he proposed to me so we were making headway before we even started! We met on 1st October 2005 and we were engaged on 1st September 2007. I knew Nik was the one after a year, so when we went away for our first year anniversary to London I thought he may pop the question, what I didn’t take into consideration is the fact that maybe he wasn’t ready! Nik is 10 years younger than me, so when we met I was 33 and he was 23, so expecting him to propose at 24 may have been a bit hopeful on my part. After he didn’t propose the idea was constantly at the back of my head, when would he do it? You see I was ready, I’d already got rid of 2 fiancés and I knew that they were wrong for me, which is why I knew Nik was the one, and as Harry says to Sally in when Harry met Sally, ‘when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible’.
The next opportunity I thought was when we went on a Balloon ride…..perfect right? High in the air, peaceful, romantic………. Nope apparently not! Nik didn’t take the bait!
The next time was the following year in Ibiza; I thought he was bound to do it then, the sun, the sea, the clubs, our favourite holiday destination. It was our last night and we’d walked back to our apartment along the beach, we’d taken some time out away from our group of friends to be on our own, the moon was glistening on the sea………perfect time, for me yes but not for Nik……..still nothing.
So at this point I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands. We had spoken about marriage and we both knew it was going to happen at some point; I just wanted to know when. So I started talking about rings and the kind of thing I would like. I think I then kind of suggested we went and had a look for rings just so Nik knew the sort of thing I would be happy with. (not that I’m high maintance at all!) We went out one Saturday afternoon and the first shop we went into I had found the ring, Poor Nik looked a bit taken back, I think he thought we’d be searching for a few weeks, after all I am extremely indecisive….but no I found the ring and that was that. And that is the last I spoke of the wedding, I think I even stopped puzzling over when the proposal would happen, I just knew it was.
A few weeks later we went down to Cornwall to see my mum and spend a few days chilling out. I guess I thought it may happen while we were down there, maybe on the last night after a meal out? But again I just put the idea out of my head. That Saturday lunchtime, we nipped into Fowey for some lunch, we went into Sam’s my favourite restaurant and Nik was acting a bit odd and unnaturally impatient.
We ate up and then headed to the town key. Nik knows that Fowey Town key is my favourite place in the world; it’s a place I always used to go to as a child and the one pace I HAVE to visit every time I go back to Cornwall, the view out to see is so calming and so peaceful I just l LOVE it. We looked out to the water , Nik put his arms around my waist and there was the ring in his hand, and then the words cam out, ‘will you marry me’ he got down on one knee and said it again……..I said yes and I cried…..a lot!
The thing that made it so perfect so that I wasn’t expecting it, the middle of the day he completely caught me off guard and it couldn’t be more perfect!
So my story to me is totally romantic, and one I am more than happy to tell the grandchildren one day!
In 2011 we went back to the same spot for our beloved shoot/2 year wedding anniversary with Marianne Taylor and captured that day again………and it’s still my favourite spot in the world!
(photo credit Marianne Taylor)
So that’s my story, now I want to hear yours………and if you don’t want to tell us your proposal story tell us what you think of the whole proposal pressure! is it to much? To little? Should we just be happy to get proposed to? (or happy not to in some cases!)
I’d love to hear your thoughts
Big Boho Love
Kelly xx
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You know, I think proposals ARE overrated. They put so much pressure on the guy, and the girl for that matter. I would hate for the question just to be sprung on me!
We had had a few wedding/marriage conversations over the years, and we knew it was going to happen. Last summer, the conversations got a bit more serious, like could we afford it, when would it fit in to our life (practical, I know), and what we want from a marriage. Most of these conversations happened whilst I was running and chris chasing me on a bike whilst I was training for various races. It took my mind off the pain!
Eventually, we decided it would happen and I steered him to a jewellers. When he saw my face when he pointed out what he would choose (not good!) we set aside an entire holiday to ring hunting. We found it, and bought it, and he ‘hid it’ in the flat. I knew exactly where it was, and would beg him to let me see it.
One evening we had tickets to see Romeo & Juliet at an open air theatre and the whole day he was acting odd. I got a bit suspicious and checked the ring box. Gone! (to this day he doesn’t know this so shhhh!)
I got a bit emotional knowing it was going to happen and fidgeted the entire way through the show. He got down on one knee after the play and our picnic, and I was very embarrassed it was so ‘public’.
But you know what, I don’t care. He wants to marry ME. Who cares how he proposed, the fact is I said yes and I get to marry my amazing Mr. I would be marrying him even if there was no proposal and we just came to the conclusion ourselves. I didn’t need, or want, any elaborate proposal, just my lovely man saying he wants to marry me. That’s perfect in my books.
Gorgeous story Laura and like you say it’s the fact that he wanted to marry you that was important. Stilll pretty romantic! xxxx
When we got engaged, we’d been together very nearly 6 years (since our first year at university) and I was absolutely chomping at the bit to get engaged. So much so that I don’t think I would have cared if he had done it in the kitchen at home.
He knew how much it meant to me, though, and decided to make it as special as he could. He’d decided he was going to do it quite some time before he did, and had been waiting for the perfect moment.
We were on holiday, travelling around Holland and Belgium via Interrail in February this year. We spent a couple of days in Bruges and he made it utterly magical. We visited the chocolate museum, bought chocolate liqueur and fancy chocolate ‘for later’ then went out to eat lovely food and drink fabulous wine at a cosy little wine and jazz bar in the heart of Bruges. We drank a fabulous bottle of Sauvignon Blanc (our favourite) and talked about all manner of lovely things.
Normally, he’s a dessert boy, but he was eager to leave after the meal was finished, so we wrapped up and headed out in the snow.
When you look up at the skyline of Bruges, it is filled with beautiful spires, so he had me choose my favourite and we headed to the main square. Standing in the centre of the square, underneath the beautifully lit up Belfry, he made his little speech (as soon as he started I cried like nothing else) and got down on one knee and popped the question.
We then got lost trying to find the hotel and ambled round the streets like idiots. We chose a ring together the next day.
The boy did well!
The boy did very well Rachel, what a lovely story! xx
What a lovely story… Thank you for sharing. I was proposed to in a country club steam room – totally unexpected but I’d had the same build-up in my head. The marriage lasted a good 16 years but is now amicably over. But I’ve got a nick too…and mine is 11 years younger than me…and we too love going to Fowey…. Must book a weekend away! Thank you for sharing your great story. X
Hi Elizabeth what a coincidence! xxx
To be honest I can’t even remember the “proposal” we did nothing fancy Steve held the ring in his had as I was getting into bed after a birthday meal to this day I am still adamant that he didn’t formally ask me to marry him – but he says he did.
I wore the ring with an elastic band wrapped around it for a week or two as it was a tad too big now 23years later i I can’t imagine it fitting me again it looks so delicate but it has stood the test of time as has our relationship.
Me and my lovely man had been together about 2 and a half years when he proposed. We had been living together for most of that time and we both knew we had met the one. We had spoken about marriage quite a lot but I still had no idea when he would actually pop the question! We are both really different- he is super laid back and relaxed and I always like to get things done pronto! So waiting for him to actually make the move was torture for me. I kept hinting the way us girls do which involved saving images of rings I liked online under a folder subtly names “Rings I like!” on our laptop… but still nothing happened. I then happened to “accidently” walk into a shop one day and found THE ring. It was absolutely perfect and I knew I (and most importantly he)wouldn’t find another one I liked as much. I went home and told him about it and showed him the picture I had taken on my phone- surely he would ask me soon?!
He didn’t. So one day after work I decided to call the shop and ask them if they still had the ring… and to my horror they had sold it! I was mortified and went home and told him how upset I was and no doubt went on and on and on about it.
Anyway, I decided to give up on the idea of him asking me anytime soon and thought it best to just let him ask me in his own time Then one weekend I had to work. When I got back my better half had gone out so I decided to have a quick nap as I was super tired and we were going out that night with friends so wanted to recharge my batteries beforehand.
After a while I woke up and nipped to the toilet. (this is where it gets slightly embarrassing…) whilst I was on said toilet I heard my partner come back. He then proceeded to knock on the bathroom door. I shouted for him to come in (we are very open with one another!) but he just kept knocking. I began to get mad as I was still half asleep and wanted him to stop messing around so I shouted “wait one minute, I am on the toilet!!”. Finally I threw open the door ready to tell him off for being so annoying and there he was on one knee, a large bunch of roses in one hand and THE ring I had fallen in love with in the other!!
I literally couldn’t believe it and somehow managed to squeak out a “yes” when he asked me to marry him.
His proposal was perfect for us- I was half asleep, wearing no make up, a dirty vest top that had last night’s tea down the front and some huge granny pants, but that is how he loves me (I hope!).
It turned out the very day I called the ring shop to see if they still had it was the same day he went to buy it! He knows what I am like and guessed I would ring up so he told the staff in the shop to play along and not tell me it was him. Since then we have both been in to order our weddings rings and they all took great enjoyment teasing me about this!! He always knew he was going to ask me sometime soon but wanted to do it when he wanted to, so it would be a total surprise for me and thought by doing it on the day we were going out with friends, it would make it extra special as I could then spend my evening excitedly telling all my friends my wedding plans and flashing my beautiful engagement ring.
I think proposals should be special but that doesn’t mean they have to involve a huge public display, just something that is right for the couple.
I had been with my fella for about four years and really was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to propose. I remember back now and think I must have been a real bitch to live with for a while, dropping hints and generally making myself as ‘unproposable’ as possible. Little did I know, the whole time he was planning something monumental.
I went to New York with my best friend for our joint 30th birthdays, just girlies going shopping and generally having a fab time. Unbeknownst to me, my boyf caught the next plane out and was waiting at the top of the Empire State Building (my favourite place in NYC) for me. Needless to say I cried a lot too and of course said yes!
Helen your story is lovely! and you are totally right a proposal should be special to the couple it dosn’t matter how it happens.
Bran WOW what a romantic your husband is! wonderful story! xxx
The first time I got married (a mere slip of a girl with a boyfriend 11 years older) he proposed by saying “when we get married – oh alright then let’s get married”. I made him wait a year (should have listened to my gut feelings) and got married at 22. We had 2 kids by the time we celebrated our 2nd anniversary, and I left him before the 5th, as he was more in love with the bottle than me and his children.
I had many happy years through my 20s and 30s happily single and dating, with no desire to settle down again. I had a brilliant career and 2 amazing daughters. Then I met Mike on a business course. He caught my eye from the start and he was such a “lovely guy”. We became friends for 18 months while we studied, and then more than friends. Within 6 months of our first date I had my house on the market and we bought a house together.
He was never fussed about getting married and after 8 years of living together I made it known that I actually would like to have another go at it, and I was a bit too old to be called his “girlfriend”.
We went on holiday to China and started out in Beijing. One rainy September day we visited the Great Wall. All the other tourists started climbing up the left-hand side, and Mike suggested we climb the right side. I did the usual “there must be a reason – it’s probably unsafe….”. Anyway climb I did, with another couple. They never made it to the top, and Mike kept on egging me up yet another blinking step.
The top was amazing, and I was shouting “wow” and snapping away like a mad thing with my camera. He told me to come over and had a really strange look on his face. I said “you know I love you” and I gave him a hug and told him that I loved him too, at which point he dropped to the floor. I thought he was ill or having a heart attack or something! Anyway, he then said “will you marry me”. He had a £100 ring from Argos to put on my finger. (needless to say I stung him for a more expensive one when we got home). What was really funny was that it was Wedding Season in China called Moon Week, and we had walked down the “wedding shop” street only the day before. I kept on commenting at all the yucky dresses and white tuxedos, and Mike kept really quiet and kept on walking. He then said he was really nervous that I was going to bring up marriage.
So that was my proposal – amazingly romantic – and like those who commented before me – he is younger than me too by 6 years and has never been married or had kids. We arranged our wedding in 4 months, and I still think he is amazing and worth waiting for.
What a wonderful story Pamela, thanks so much for sharing xxxx
You know something…..proposals ARE important. As you’ve so rightly said, a proposal story is something you re-live over and over again and will, in years to come, tell your children….and your childrens children.
So, men HAVE TO PUT TIME AND EFFORT INTO IT. THEY HAVE TO PLAN. THEY HAVE TO BE CREATIVE. THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. Think about weddings for example…..the planning is usually left to the woman. We are under pressure to create a magical day that everyone will remember and talk about forever. We employ wedding planners to help us make this day special. We spend thousands.
So, Men should pub the same thought into proposing. That’s why I think http://www.theproposers.co.uk are so fabulous. They help the man create a proposal that will blow his girfriends socks away.
It doesnt have to be a big extravagant proposal, or something that involves thousands of pounds….but the THOUGHT needs to be there. And if he can get an extra helping hand with coming up with something fabulous…then why not? Afterall, the memories of that day will stay with you forever….long after you’ve said “i do.”
Ohh, i thought the hot air balloon ride would be really romantic! Especially abroad during a sunset, awww.
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