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Today we are back with Jo and Nick on Diary of a Boho Bride. Last time they talked about the role of the groom, as Nick has been very prevalent in the wedding planning. it was very interesting to hear about how Nick has been taking such an active role! Today they are both back to tell you more about the church service, meeting the vicar, what it means to them and the ins and out of getting married in their particular church! They also offer some good advice if you are just in the beginning stages of planning your church service.
JO: Well we knew the wedding plans would step up a gear as we head into the 5 month countdown but this week has been extra full of all things wedding related! On Saturday we headed down to the church for breakfast with the Vicar (more on that shortly) before taking Nick’s ushers to be measured for their suits and then on Sunday we met up with our wedding photographers Paul and Kelly (from www.pauljosephphotography.co.uk) and the 2 other Diary of a Boho Bride couples who are also having them as their photographers; Becki and Jonny, and Charlotte and Alan. We had an absolutely great time with good food, good alcohol (a little too much for some perhaps?!) and some great discussions. It was so good to all get together and talk weddings to our hearts content without feeling like you’re boring the other people! And we also educated Paul and Kelly in the wonders of the £2 coin wedding piggy bank (a crucial part of the planning process!).
NICK: It was really great meeting up with our fellow Boho bloggers and I can’t wait to meet you all again after the weddings.
So, back to Saturday and breakfast with the Vicar. We headed to church not really knowing what to expect other than all the other couples who are getting married this year would be there. I am not a religious person at all and going to church really takes me out of my comfort zone, this informal gathering was such a masterstroke by the Vicar as it put everyone at ease really quickly and everyone agreed it was much better than having to attend a one-to-one meeting with just the Vicar. Meeting the Mothers Union was also a first for me and they excelled in playing host and serving all the tea and coffee and bringing out warm croissants. It was a brilliant morning chatting with the other couples and hearing about all their plans.
JO: For me, I’d always taken it as a given that when I got married it would be in a church. Whilst religion is not a big part of my life it is something that I grew up with and it seems right and respectful to my Mum, my Nan and other family members that we say our vows to each other in church. I completely understand that it isn’t for everyone and I have been challenged on why I feel so strongly about church marriage but it is something that is important to me, thankfully Nick is able to accept and understand that. That is not to say that I wasn’t incredibly nervous when we walked in on Saturday and had to write little name labels out with our wedding dates on. We sat in groups whilst the Vicar said her thing and then she asked us to discuss children, money and then…sex (it was at that point that Nick chose to tell her that was the only reason he was there!).
NICK: We were all then walked around the church and talked about what would happen and where. Both me and Jo were surprised by how varied a church service can be. Our vicar is all for throwing tradition out of the window as long as the sentiment of marriage is not tarnished. She is very open about music choice, hymns, readings, number of best men, whether the best men will be men or women, who sits on what side of the church or how the bride and groom enter the church.
JO: However, something that we are going to have to work on is the fact that our photographers are banished to the balcony during the service. This had been one of our fears as we have read blog after blog warning couples to speak to their Vicars as not all of them are the biggest fans of photographers (often due to bad experiences). Given that our Vicar is so modern and flexible we were very surprised at this, especially when she said it’s ok though because we can recreate poses after the ceremony has finished…hmm, really? This is definitely something we will have to work on in the coming months and something that I would advise all couples getting married in a church to find out about asap. Oh and beware of extra videography fees that you have to pay to the church as well as to your videographer, that was an unexpected one too!
NICK: From our experience and speaking to others the church is different to most other aspects to a wedding. You don’t choose a church like you would a venue, inevitably the church you get married in is determined by your location, if it’s your family church, or the church you attended at school. We didn’t take into account whether we thought the Vicar would fit with our personalities, what rules they will impose, if they are able to hold an audience of people who might not generally attend church services (I have seen some truly shocking vicars). Generally we have been very lucky in that we think our Vicar is ace and apart from one hiccup we will be getting the church service we really want.
JO AND NICK: Thanks for reading and sharing in our wedding planning experiences. Our invitations are due to go out in the coming weeks so next time we will be able to tell you about how our decision of no children invited has gone down!